Saturday 30 May 2015

Selfie hatred (Day 5)

I hate having my photo taken. Always have.

My nephew Sam describes me as the anti- Barney Stinson. For those of you that haven't watched 'How I met your mother' this is Barney Stinson.





There is a running joke in the show that you just can't get a bad photo of Barney, whatever he is doing no matter how undignified you take a photo and he looks just like he does above straightening his tie.

And the opposite of that is me. I'm a gawky, clumsy girl who gets very excited about things and moves around a lot. This makes me amusing to be around but it doesn't make for good photos AT ALL. I have lost count of the number of family photos I've ruined by gurning, or doing something weird with my hands, or somehow rolling my eyes back into my head. And I'm not doing it deliberately - I would love to take a good picture but I just don't. 

Here are a couple of examples:
 
 
......and those are ones I allowed myself to be tagged in on facebook! 

I didn't really think about this when I set up this challenge but the act of taking and then posting online photos of me everyday for a year is pretty hideous. 

So I'm going to have to get over this hatred pretty quickly.

Day 2 saw me taking my first ever selfie - this is not a medium I enjoy at all. It's so self regarding, false and entirely set up. It also feels really anti social.  I can see the point if you are recording something, proving a point or asking an opinion - but otherwise go outside, hang around with someone you like and then if you want your photo taken get them to take it. I don't care how pretty you are your mirror does not provide good conversation.

By Day 5 I was on selfie 3


I think you can actually see my soul being sucked out in this. It is just so joyless. So from now on I'm going to try to avoid the selfie & when I am out with people I like, I'm going to get them to take the photos.

I'm also going to learn from a couple of my more photogenic chums how to pose. Something I have never felt motivated to do before and I am sure will look ridiculous at least initially. But there are  360 of these photos to go - so I think for all our sakes I should try.

Tuesday 26 May 2015

Day 4 (or don't judge me.... )

I am still on holiday and am wearing exactly the same clothes as yesterday.I really worried about putting today's photo up because I thought you might judge me.

A big part of what is worrying me is the instagramming thing. The reality is I am happy looking like crap if I think no-one is going to see / judge me. So in the winter I wear some borderline offensive and definitely flammable outfits to walk the dog & then meet my old  stuck-with-me-now-so -don't-care-what-I-look-like friends, down the pub without a second thought. But while I am a long way from vain - the idea of everyone I've ever met seeing regular photo's of me in my fleeced up glory gives me palpitations. Seeing me wearing my 'daytime jammies' is a privilege (potentially I am misusing that word) reserved for the people I love.

 Letting you all see photos of what I wear when I'm not at work or a party worries me.

Partly this is because there is a certain level of agreed etiquette around how we present ourselves to the world that  gives a shorthand about how clean and respectable we are, how well we'll fit in. And changing our clothes is a part of that - it's a shorthand for being clean.

My parents were pretty broke when we were growing up, we wore hand me downs and clothes from charity shops alongside the new clothes they sacrificed things for themselves to get us. "Clean is as good as new" was a bit of a motto in our house. My parents are wonderful so I know that good parenting and providing loads of new clothes is not the same thing at all. There is a huge difference between neglect and poverty - but ask families living on a budget if they feel judged by how they dress their kids and you'll realise how little that difference is appreciated. 

I hate that families living on the breadline feel that their value as parents is measured by how they present their children rather than by how happy their children are. I'm furious about it in fact. But oddly it doesn't stop me from feeling vulnerable to your judgement for wearing the same clothes to walk the dog and hang around my house yesterday as I did today. It doesn't stop me from being terrified that you'll all think less of the work that I do because sometimes I do that work in my scruffs.

I hope you don't. But if you do then please ask yourself whether you want to support families of disabled children to be able to afford to present themselves and their children in the way they'd choose to. Ask yourself if it's ok that 65% of the families Contact a Family spoke to last year are going without new clothes as a result of the very real financial implications of raising a disabled child.

And if you agree that this is not ok - then maybe donate whatever you'd spend on a new t-shirt to Contact a Family - it's easy to do so here

And here is what a wore today (don't judge me)





 

Day 2 & 3 (or the difference a good mirror makes)

 

Or at least buy a slightly less crappy mirror....

In terms of the clothes tally Day 2 was a repeat of Day 1 - just plus a jumper

Day 3 introduced 2 new items, Jeans & a navy tshirt, with the jumper from Day 2

Day 1 (or smugness squashed)


So I felt pretty brilliant about this challenge when I woke up on my birthday. Matt was still hungover from our enthusiastic welcoming in of my 35th year, so I got up super early - chucked on a trusty old denim dress & some sandals and headed out onto the marshes with the dog.

It was glorious - the sun was shining, birds were singing and I remembered how much I love summer. I thought to myself - this is going to be easy. From now until winter I just have to find 6 gorgeous summer frocks that I can layer up come winter & just wear a frock ad sandals every day. Maybe 35 items is too many?

So I went home packed up a bag for our day out (FYI costume element was swimming costume - no impact on clothes count - huzzah). As I was still in this positive mood all I packed was a second frock (for the evening), make up & a book. Then just as I left the house I had a moment of good sense and popped my Mac in the bag too.

Thank God as then this happened.............




The photo doesn't really do it justice - it was proper pelting.....
 
Anyway - day 1 complete & 4 items already on the rosta.

The denim dress, brown sandals, mac & green silk dress. So that's 11% of my wardrobe done in day 1. Which is somewhat giving me the fear.......

Thanks for the birthday donations - keep 'em coming.....here

Sunday 24 May 2015

The List (or clothes that I'll be sick of by May 2016)



This isn't the most exciting post - but it's one for the rule checkers out there.

Basically it's the list of allowed items. For ease I'll reverse the post - so the most recently added item will be at the top of the list.

Item 33
Beige dress (copy of item 1)



Item 32
Loose Trousers




Item 31
Flannel Shirt




Item 30
Cashmere jumper



Item 29
Winter Coat



Item 28
Cosy Shawl

 

Item 27
Velvet Dress





Item 26
Grey Full Length Dress


Item 25
Oversized Men's Shirt



Item 24
Green Boots



Item 23
Grey Jeans

Obviously while these are my jeans this is not my arse



 




Item 22
Mustard Cardigan



Item #21
Grey vest top

Item #20
Toast frock
Riva Dress




Item #19
Summer Frock



Item #18
Navy Dress

Item #17
Black Heels



Item #16
White trainers

Item #15
Black Ankle boots 







Item #14
Blue mini skirt

Item #13
Black Cotton Jumper 






Item #12
Stripey Vest Top






Item #11
Olive Linen Skirt


Item #10
Denim shirt (first worn day 6)

My birthday present to myself. The softest denim shirt ever. yum. 

Item #9
Grey t-shirt (first worn day 6)


Bought a grey T identical to the navy one. Seemed sensible

 
Item #8
Hoodie dress (first worn day 5)


This one is a risk. Everyone said don't go for anything to loud or patterned , and this is both. But it's also in it's third year of regular wear and I do really love it. So I'm taking a chance. - don't let me down hoodie dress....



Item #7
Jeans (first worn day 3)
 Jeans. Obviously I needed jeans. These ones are comfy and slightly anti-fashion. So I don't feel like I have to push a look each time I put them on

Item #6
Navy tshirt (first worn day 3)

Weirdly it's t-shirts that have given me the most concern for this challenge - how to find something that washes well and is as good for digging the garden as the office? Only 1 t-shirt in my wardrobe currently does this. This one.



Item #5
Green silk dress (first worn day 1)

As my nephew said - needs an iron. That's because I took this photo just as I took this out of my overnight bag. Pretty confident this is a good pick, it's been worn to christenings, concerts and conferences so should get some good wear.

Item #4
Wool Jumper (first worn day 2)




100% wool. Never sweaty - never cold. Slightly worried this won't go with much except the denim. But I love it & winter is coming (one for the geeks there....)

Item #3

Raincoat (first worn day 1)



 There is nothing sexy about this raincoat - except that it is really bloody waterproof. And it doesn't rustle like a lot of waterproofs - which is important as i like to hear (not scare away) the birds on my morning walks. Odds on this'll be the most worn item this year (hurrah for English weather)


Item #2

Denim Dress (first worn day 1)



It's loose. It has side pockets. I've had it for a while and never felt uncomfortable wearing it. 

Item #1

Flat Brown Sandals (first worn day 1)

Bought these just for the challenge as I normally have a fair few pairs of colourful sandals and flip flops for summer but it turns out nothing neutral. Hopefully these are smart enough for work but will also work for the beach.

These broke 2 months in & were replaced by these

Thursday 21 May 2015

A nightmare involving Lego & costume requirements

So as you all know - the challenge starts on Saturday - my 35th birthday.

Normally Matt & I try and get away for my birthday but this year for a variety of reasons it can't be done, instead Matt has arranged a 'surprise day of wonder' in London.

Last night he told me that he'd "tell me what I could wear" for this particular day of wonder because there was "a costume requirement".

"You do remember I'm doing this 35 items challenge" I said "please don't use up 5 of my items on the first day on stuff I can't wear again - I really don't want to be forced to find a reason why dressing as iron man at work is ok"

And this is what Matt said (sometimes I think that man doesn't know me at all).........

"surely your birthday doesn't count?"

Yes Matthew, yes it does - my birthday counts, your birthday counts, being a best man at Bob & Laura's wedding counts, so does Jess' and Hayley and Didier's wedding.... if it only counted when it was easy to count it wouldn't be a challenge - would it!

Arrrgh. I had a moment of hope that we might be doing sport (first time hope and sport have ever coincided in a sentence without the words 'I don't have to do' in between them) because under the rules I can wear sports kit as long as it's to do sport and have it not count in the numbers - but alas no.

Matt has refused to give me any further details - saying he'll let me know what is needed Friday night.

Anyway this conversation obviously had some deep affect on my subconscious because last night I had a dream that on Saturday the whole of the London skyline was being built to scale with Lego bricks and then there was going to be a parade. But that I couldn't join in as I couldn't make myself a costume that met public decency standards out of 35 bricks.

Which is a shame as I bloody love Lego & parades.

Wednesday 20 May 2015

The rules (or how you know I'm not cheating)

So let's assume you've already sponsored me - how can you possibly know that I am really only wearing 35 things this year, what clothes count and what doesn't?

How will I be policed?

I don't know if you are at all worried about this but I certainly am. There is a part of me that is still very much a child when it comes to sponsorship. I don't want to sponsor you to try I want to sponsor you to do. As a kid I never gave anyone their sponsorship money for sponsored silence or sponsored fasts, or even fun runs until the task was completed - and you know what if you cheated, or had to speak to ask to go to the loo or snuck a sweet at midday, or twisted your ankle the day before the race - then you wouldn't get your sponsorship money at all.

Because for me as a child sponsorship wasn't about generosity or charity. It was about taking a gamble on whether someone could actually do something really hard. Now that probably tells you something about my personality that isn't entirely flattering. But I think it's important. As an adult people who really love you will sponsor you regardless of what you are doing - but your acquaintances - if they are going to put their hands in their pockets they are going to want to see you sweat.

So you need to see me sweat - you need proof that I'm doing what I've said I'll do, and the rules will help you keep track of just that.

The Rules
  1. Ed will only wear 35 items of clothing from 23rd May 2015 to 23rd May 2016. 
  2. Anything fabric that is visible counts as clothing with the exception of tights and socks (sorry chaps but hygiene)
  3. In the spirit of rule 1 Ed can only wear plain black tights, any variation on this counts as one of the 35 items
  4. Clothes that are needed for specific sporting activities don't count as long as they are exclusively used for those activities (this is basically my yoga/ running kit, walking boots and walking sandals) - if these are worn outside of specific activities they count as one of the 35 items
  5. If I'm lucky enough to go on holiday I'll take 1 bikini, it won't count as an item of clothing & there will be no photos of it (consider this a kindness)
  6. Jewelry isn't clothing, neither is a belt
  7. I will keep a list & photo's of allowed clothing on a blogpost. Once there are 35 items on the list - that is it - if I haven't allowed for weather/ certain occasions - tough.
  8. I will take a photo of my outfit everyday & post it on Instagram so you have (boring repetitive) proof I am sticking to the rules
  9. Pairs of things (shoes, gloves) count as one item, but only if they are called 'a pair of' don't worry I won't try and sneak in a suit! 
  10. If something breaks I have to try to fix it - if something gets stained I can dye it. If something horrible goes wrong out of my control & I lose an item - then you my sponsors will vote on what I can do about it.
I'm going to find this really hard - It is going to make me sweat (potentially literally if I don't choose the right clothes) so it's probably worth some sponsorship isn't it? The just giving page is here

Tuesday 19 May 2015

What doesn't a capsule wardobe look like?

This:



Nope that's not all of it - that didn't even fill 1/8 of one of the 4 vacume packs I'm storing stuff in before I sell it.

I did a little audit of what I own before I started packing things away - I didn't include any clothes in the wash, or in the attic or in the chests on top of my wardobe and in the spare room. This is just the stuff I could access easily on the Saturday afternoon I was trying to pack things up.

Here's what I own:

25 t-shirts
20 blouses
6 shirts
5 pairs of jeans
4 pairs of trousers
4 pairs of shorts
15 skirts
26 jumpers
73 dresses
20 cardigans
9 jackets
11 coats
24 pairs of shoes
14 scarves
6 pairs of gloves
5 hats

267 items of clothing before I even go into my (large and overflowing) linen bin.

Surely this is not normal. Particularly when you consider how suprised I was a how low that figure was (then I remembered taking 3 binbags of clothes to the charity shop in February).

I officially have a problem. And as I was vacuum packing up the first batch of clothes I began to feel really anxious. How much of my personality is wrapped up in all these lovely bright items of clothing - will I lose the creative side of my personality? Will people judge me for wearing the same clothes over and over again? Am I going to make myself miserable surviving on 13% of my current wardrobe for the whole year?

Honestly I don't know. But here is what I do know.

Many of the families my charity support don't have the luxury of choosing to do without and the idea of it being a challenge to wear less is laughable when you start to consider poverty on a global scale. So really I'm just going to have to grow up and deal with it.

Because if not having exactly the right thing to wear to that meeting/ lunch/wedding is really the biggest thing I have to worry about this year then really - lets face it I'm blessed. 

 And if you worry about this stuff too - probably so are you. Why not donate what you were about to spend on that top you aren't really sure you'll wear to Contact a Family - you can do so through my just giving page here


Monday 18 May 2015

The birth of the clothes off my back challenge (or why you shouldn't ask a question you don't want an answer to)

At the end of April I sat with a friend at work and had an entirely selfish whinge. 

I'd just read an article on capsule wardrobes & was fully bought in. No problems at all seeing how a capsule wardrobe was a good thing -for other people. But it couldn't possibly work for me. 

You see I own a lot of clothes – LOADS. I own enough dresses I could wear a different one every day from now until mid august before I had to move onto separates. And then by my calculations I could move around separates (at 2 a day) until well into the new year.
·         
     Yes. I hate how long it takes me to get dressed in the morning. Yes. Most days I feel like I look awful when I leave the house

·   
      But (IMO) capsule wardrobes only work for tall boyish shaped women and models (I am not either of these things)

·          
      And anyway what would I do without vintage? God forbid I look like a clone.


 I am slightly ashamed to say this whinge lasted a good 10 minutes. In my lunchbreak. Working for a charity that campaigns around poverty affecting families of disabled children (www.cafamily.org.uk) . Yes, you are correct I am a selfish, selfish person. In my defence at the end of the 10 minutes I did say “all of which seems trivial compared to the 65% of parents of disabled children we talk to who go without essentials like clothes in order to provide properly for their children”. (I didn’t make that stat up by the way it’s here along with the number of families – 33%- who can’t afford to heat their homes). 

 At this point my friend said something brave, and unexpected and really pissing annoying. She said “ Yes it is trivial. It’d be less trivial if you could find a way to help our families while you are having a meltdown about what to wear to work”. Cowbag. Sometimes I wish I didn’t require my friends to be so honest. 

 But also she was right – could I do something about my chronic shopping habit, feel more stylish and help my organisation to support vulnerable families? 

 It turns out yes. I turn 35 in a week and during my 35 year I will:
  • Limit myself to wearing 35 items of clothing (including pairs of shoes, gloves, hats and scarves) for the whole year
  • Donate the money I’m not spending on clothes to Contact a Family
  • Sell most of my wardrobe on ebay to raise more cash
  • Ask friends and family to sponsor me & prove I’m sticking to the rules by instragraming what I wear every day
  • Get 35 of my friends to host #clothesoffmyback parties where they ‘buy’ cocktails and trade clothes to help out
  • Get my friends and family to gamble on most worn items by sponsoring them per wear
  • Blog about it. Not just what I wear, but the reactions of the professionals I work with to seeing me in the same clothes day, after day, after day……

Obviously there it's not going to be that simple - there will need to be rules. But that's for another post......

If you want to sponsor my clothes off my back challenge you can do so here