tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-45359756254358694682024-02-20T22:09:47.347-08:00CLOTHES OFF MY BACK - Adventures in living happily with lessCould living with less be your secret to happy?
After a year of wearing an extreme capsule wardrobe for charity and learning loads about what actually impacts on my happiness in the process - I'm on a mission to find (& share with you) the stuff makes life that little bit more joyful. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10726402096024026570noreply@blogger.comBlogger77125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4535975625435869468.post-89563503870668403972016-06-13T01:45:00.000-07:002016-06-13T01:45:25.125-07:00Secret to happy - a good waterproof<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And the winner of least sexy blog title ever goes to........</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But I'm actually serious. There's two parts to this great joy:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Firstly it's about not getting soaked to the skin, or being limited to what you do due to the weather.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The second is about liking yourself enough to not worry about how you you look in a cagoule.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjk-f88rNJWc9b1diuz3NJE5oJfEsvK3Og4AFwgWFej3ABnqOVryWSak9nEtviG1BXvLFOu282JlB40bBKGTWcN4rG4ooPMbHlZw0M-JYHDECfLdGV3LFp9_fVS0FwhHZ9SaF1kTcuqubU/s1600/InstagramCapture_1d20d1c6-49ab-4454-a361-746bfa495f03%255B1%255D.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjk-f88rNJWc9b1diuz3NJE5oJfEsvK3Og4AFwgWFej3ABnqOVryWSak9nEtviG1BXvLFOu282JlB40bBKGTWcN4rG4ooPMbHlZw0M-JYHDECfLdGV3LFp9_fVS0FwhHZ9SaF1kTcuqubU/s1600/InstagramCapture_1d20d1c6-49ab-4454-a361-746bfa495f03%255B1%255D.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I totally - unironically love this cagoule</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I know that these days there are some really nice cagoules out there. In fact I own a lovely grey number by Rain that I love. But I think we can all agree that when I say nice - I mean comparatively. There are some really really ugly cagoules out there - and there are some inoffensive ones. There has not to my knowledge yet been a drop to your knees beautiful cagoule that has caused riots in topshop or appeared on the cover of Vogue.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Cagoules are very much function over form. And for me that is part of their joy. Wearing a cagoule shows a level of self care that I think is kind of beautiful. A suspension of vanity, of worrying what others think about your physical appearance in order to keep yourself dry. It's a good thing.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And not a thing I've always done. I can remember countless occasions when I've chosen to leave the house in a denim or leather jacket when it is absolutely pouring - because while I might arrive a shivvering drowned rat of a girl, at least my sense of style will be intact. At least no-one would see me in *gasp* a pac -a - mac.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">These days I just want to give that shivvering, drenched, very prone to colds girl (I wonder why?) a massive hug. I want to hand her a pac-a-mac and tell her to see it as a kind of sorting hat. Cos the people who wouldn't rather you were warm than stylish are wankers worth neither your time or the small fortune you are spending on aloe vera kleenex. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And actually the best boys - they fancy girls in cagoules. Because the really nice ones - they find a sense of adventure sexy - certainly sexier than the ability to do a perfect eyeliner flick (though there is a certain allure to sporting both at once). And even if they didn't - you miss out on so much of life if you can't head out in the rain.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Is there anything more beautifully passionate than a heavy rain drumming into the sea? Or more fun than getting the park to just you, your dog and a giant stick? More capable than walking into the festival knowing it doesn't matter if it shits it down you'll see who you want to see, cos you have your waterproof, and your wellies and you are ready to rock and roll.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">That's why I love my cagoule - cos it loves me back & I can take it anywhere and it'll look after me. The ultimate Jane Bond accessory.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTly9HWyl2b2b-T-AlFd5hmX4_qhTiGhM_bfSy1vS7NRtU_dh34oX3m4cqKdpHzhGC778ZNz6qhPIFOQ70s4EPF2Gh604YC0yftoMEDSeD11DWqVf27Nx6aEsowBr0q08xVd_p9oZXgvE/s1600/WP_20150523_017%255B1%255D.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTly9HWyl2b2b-T-AlFd5hmX4_qhTiGhM_bfSy1vS7NRtU_dh34oX3m4cqKdpHzhGC778ZNz6qhPIFOQ70s4EPF2Gh604YC0yftoMEDSeD11DWqVf27Nx6aEsowBr0q08xVd_p9oZXgvE/s320/WP_20150523_017%255B1%255D.jpg" width="239" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This day would have been shit without my old faithful. With it - all kinds of awesomeness.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Do you have a story about your waterproof being a hero? I'd love to hear it!</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10726402096024026570noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4535975625435869468.post-87150291032596670882016-06-05T10:43:00.000-07:002016-06-05T10:47:02.226-07:00Secret to happy - hugs<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Now I'm not the most tactile of people. I can know you pretty well and like you a lot and still have less than no interest in hugging you.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I hold my right to decide who I have physical contact with and when very sacred. I am that person who won't hug a child if they are told to hug me - but only if they want to - because you know what? Hugs are only good if there is mutual consent.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When I want a hug and when I'll allow it is pretty unpredictable. The lady we rented an apartment from for 1 night in Croatia who didn't speak a word of English, massive hug to say goodbye. Some people I've been friends with for years - never hugged them, would literally rear way and offer a hand to shake if they tried!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But I do know the value of a good hug. A really good hug is better than any medicine created. A hug that doesn't seek to give, or take, to change or influence - but is quite simply two people squeezing to show mutual affection and comfort is a really wonderful thing.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicaJcGd5qyjbif829GzD7PXTtPLP8MehRL3lj722hQQ6n4Du32VPEw1_LM4T5u3ICFfrC90CcNUKhQwlLfDwXFXkSWWIhWuN0giKEgYl5rLwza1DjeUHCsvelG1gbcOOJ-teEck8_K_mk/s1600/noo+hug.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicaJcGd5qyjbif829GzD7PXTtPLP8MehRL3lj722hQQ6n4Du32VPEw1_LM4T5u3ICFfrC90CcNUKhQwlLfDwXFXkSWWIhWuN0giKEgYl5rLwza1DjeUHCsvelG1gbcOOJ-teEck8_K_mk/s320/noo+hug.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sisterly hug with Noo</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sometimes hugs don't obviously contribute to your immediate happiness. In fact when things are rubbish, I often find the immediate affect of a good hug is to make me cry. To make me quite literally collapse into someone else's arms. But if you've ever been really sad you 'll know that there is the benefit to a good hug. That someone will quite literally hold you up when you're collapsing. That they may not be able to change your situation or change a single bloody thing for you - but they will while you need it keep you from falling to the floor.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And then for me, when things are better, I remember those hugs and they make me feel braver, more confident, and safer because I know that people are essentially good and that I am not alone.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Of course hugs aren't only good when you are sad. I love a big squeeze from a good friend I haven't seen in a while, and I can physically feel myself calm and de-stress when Matt & I have a hug when I get home from work. There are some friends that I'm always hugging just out of the pure joy that they exist.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I think the thing with hugs for me is that that are essentially giving - you don't hold people for your own sense of self in the way you can with some physical comforts. No-one has ever had a revenge hug, a sports hug or indeed a rebound hug. Because it doesn't have a status, there is no permanence - it's an in the moment expression of support or joy.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTImNupVPRyXu2Go3JGc2ePzJZTPKw-U2f6fKa3E7kCJ80GqWKgWmro8uDN9bQ_J-A8AHUnK-vgC_htam0aP2ep-qWr8VcvgrP2wefQQn2tWOM0gFiwWvFDL_XD2xUeUgQzdKUAhpb0y8/s1600/h+hug.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTImNupVPRyXu2Go3JGc2ePzJZTPKw-U2f6fKa3E7kCJ80GqWKgWmro8uDN9bQ_J-A8AHUnK-vgC_htam0aP2ep-qWr8VcvgrP2wefQQn2tWOM0gFiwWvFDL_XD2xUeUgQzdKUAhpb0y8/s320/h+hug.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Face licking isn't an entirely necessary part of hugging....</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And that's why at the right time, from the right person a hug is one of my secrets to happy.</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10726402096024026570noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4535975625435869468.post-23892020822483159712016-05-31T11:14:00.000-07:002016-06-01T00:49:11.608-07:00Secret to Happy - Carry your own bag<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Lessons that carrying my own stuff taught me </span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When I first went to India back in 2005 I was travelling with my husband. We'd packed up or sold everything we owned, quit our jobs and headed to India, as so many people do in search of an adventure.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> A couple of days after we arrived my back started to hurt, and so I handed my backpack to my husband and he - lovely guy that he is - carried it for me for the next 18 months – from India through Sri Lanka, Thailand, Malaysia, Cambodia and eventually into China.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This January I returned to India, without my husband and I carried my own bag. And honestly - it changed everything for me- I can’t recommend it enough.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNEAKtqdyq76-k0jgq-Y4_qW-3lF0RT_J7_GhPkPQwam6P4piJi2so-bVcHHsll55GHcAjUt8dUGSua_FIZLKKtqsLVYoj87-sAm9Tx4VWmmYhJCx2zuhrMNVGIJzio_M53HB7ETji8UM/s1600/DSC_0757.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNEAKtqdyq76-k0jgq-Y4_qW-3lF0RT_J7_GhPkPQwam6P4piJi2so-bVcHHsll55GHcAjUt8dUGSua_FIZLKKtqsLVYoj87-sAm9Tx4VWmmYhJCx2zuhrMNVGIJzio_M53HB7ETji8UM/s320/DSC_0757.JPG" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">That red backpack there - that's mine & it's awesome</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I love travelling, on my own, with friends and with my husband – I enjoy tramping around unknown streets to find somewhere to stay, somewhere to eat alongside the locals, to people watch or to have a drink. One thing I’ve noticed over the years is this: the more self sufficient I am when I’m away – the more I enjoy myself. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I’m not saying we should always go everywhere alone. Being by ourselves is valuable, but so is sharing experiences with other people. Different things will feel right at different times and that’s ok. But I am saying that when we decide to be dependent, physically, emotionally or financially on another human being it’s going to negatively impact on the way we experience our travels. It certainly did for me.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So it’s no exaggeration to say I fell in love with my backpack this time round. When I planned the holiday, I was worried my skin had got too thin for India. I knew that I was older than last time I went, and was also less fit. I knew I’d be climbing on and off buses, and hunting for hostels whilst carrying every single thing I had with me on my back. And I would only be away a month - I didn’t want to waste a single moment of that time resenting my possessions. So I packed light and I packed sensible, and as a result every time my bag needed to go on a high shelf it was easy to clamber up onto a seat and lift it up there. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Walking from the train stations into towns was very little effort. I even got to the point where I could unthinkingly hold my balance in a squat toilet with my fully packed backpack still on (maybe not an image you want to conjure up – but something I’m bloody proud of none the less).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And that made me feel really positive about my body, which was unexpectedly still sturdy enough to allow me to clamber around with my stuff on my back, without aches and pains despite having spent most of the last 10 years sat at a desk under strip lighting.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Here’s what I got out of it: I felt powerful knowing how much I could carry but also how little I needed. I felt brave and I felt independent, and I realised no matter how sweet it is to get doors opened for me or my bag carried – that having someone else ‘look after’ me doesn’t make me feel any of those things.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Carrying my own bag gave me back a sense of what I could do on my own, and of the opportunities that were available to me if I would only reach out and grab them. Not things gained for me by the kindness of others but by my own tenacity and strength. I’ve been home months now and that sense of being able to do anything and go anywhere on my own still hasn’t left me.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And as a bonus – that new confidence in my independence and self-sufficiency made the time I spent with other people on the trip better too. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The friend that I was away with is also a really keen and independent traveller. We had intended to see how it went on the trip and give ourselves the option of going our separate ways for days or weeks depending on how we got on. And we had such a good time we ended up hanging out together for the whole trip.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I think the reason we found it so easy to be together for the whole month was because of both of our determination to carry our own weight in every possible sense.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And that was a part of what I realised was missing from that first trip. When I cheerfully handed Matt my backpack I wasn’t just robbing myself of a feeling of strength, independence and possibility. But I was robbing Matt of the sense of being free of dependents, able to make brave choices, and of the choice to leave behind anything he didn’t want to carry (ie every bloody thing I was carrying) – and that’s a shame. Because travelling isn’t just about getting a sense of a new place. It’s about getting a sense of ourselves in it. A sense of who we are as individuals without our stuff, without our support networks or the people we in turn care for. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So here is my advice. Next time you have a chance to explore somewhere new – push yourself to find a way to depend on yourself as much as possible – do you need that lift from the airport, that loan of cash so you can stay somewhere a little nicer? Or would you have a happier more life affirming trip if you proved to yourself you can negotiate those buses, and live within your budget. Imagine how you’ll feel when you realise that on your own you were able to carry what you needed, get where you were going and sleep the deep and happy sleep (no matter how poky your room) of someone who’s explored their own potential and found that they can do more than they ever expected.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Because for many of us travelling is about knowing who we are when we are in freefall. And it is easiest to do that alone. But it is also possible to do it in company – just as long as you carry your own bag.</span><br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10726402096024026570noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4535975625435869468.post-28964054767288125472016-05-29T04:14:00.000-07:002016-05-29T04:39:09.966-07:00What I'm wearing until September<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<h2 style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I've been so excited about breaking open my summer wardrobe!</span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">My <a href="http://clothesoffmybackchallenge.blogspot.co.uk/p/about-challenge.html">year long charity capsule challenge</a> ended on my birthday. This made me feel like every single thing in my summer capsule was my birthday present. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And actually a fair proportion of it is - some lovely and generous people gave me vouchers for my birthday which I headed out and spent before the beginning of the month. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I have so much stuff here - I'm slightly ashamed to call it a capsule. After a year with 35 things 4 months with 43 feels like untold luxury.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's been great to be able to include some things that just won't work for every occasion but will be perfect for just one thing. Those extras have allowed me to build a wardrobe that feels little bit more me. That said I wasn't even a little bit tempted to dump the capsule format altogether - it really is easier to dress well when you have less stuff - or at least it is for me.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> Anyway here is what I've ended up with:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">7 t-shirts:</span></h3>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHwyfx2-NyWeLmufgrCmocmd0SzZ_lQ1G0ZH-imzqY1Fsxsb_5xJzzrDnAoCaf8U62BzBXruO503uImF3Y0tAyc6sqePi_F_OPnx9_6QVmt8qL93kV4D9vzu6O5Srcod_XLgyQ8AF5r20/s1600/DSC_0154.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHwyfx2-NyWeLmufgrCmocmd0SzZ_lQ1G0ZH-imzqY1Fsxsb_5xJzzrDnAoCaf8U62BzBXruO503uImF3Y0tAyc6sqePi_F_OPnx9_6QVmt8qL93kV4D9vzu6O5Srcod_XLgyQ8AF5r20/s320/DSC_0154.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Yes the mickey mouse is an indulgence. But the others are all pretty classic right?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">7 shirts:</span></h3>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqxbUDEykCETystHiosLUXQkCy-u2dtRqgcWqR1X4l8sI1VITQvmL8VlAmLmQ2l9BnZoeH00R8ESm-072QlEkGSAtIN_AhxF7525zKidGUwp8iLCm9HOgZCZ0gW69iw7zwPub8yFKp5fs/s1600/DSC_0151.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqxbUDEykCETystHiosLUXQkCy-u2dtRqgcWqR1X4l8sI1VITQvmL8VlAmLmQ2l9BnZoeH00R8ESm-072QlEkGSAtIN_AhxF7525zKidGUwp8iLCm9HOgZCZ0gW69iw7zwPub8yFKp5fs/s400/DSC_0151.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I didn't really get it with shirts until last year - but that beautiful denim shirt was a game changer for me. So now I have 7 in the capsule. It's probably more than I need & the red flannel one will only get worn on cold days - but I'm delighted to have my grandad's gardening shirt back to wear!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">6 bottoms:</span></h3>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOf1L2028cc5iC5N1pBjdeHgzKVBMhzk7E8pni86I6AMZCYvOCnAItqatqTjDeGhkdod96QT2vKF1j8DIhOZZZreYqNlCHkjeMtwEQb1DhQlderNxzcEimPHSPQ5VkoBHPMV9nmytF8z8/s1600/DSC_0167.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOf1L2028cc5iC5N1pBjdeHgzKVBMhzk7E8pni86I6AMZCYvOCnAItqatqTjDeGhkdod96QT2vKF1j8DIhOZZZreYqNlCHkjeMtwEQb1DhQlderNxzcEimPHSPQ5VkoBHPMV9nmytF8z8/s320/DSC_0167.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGQsXPyeLHbwKmiV3dih5m9_h6CUKqTBKd3C1k50yY5medpFerYEfCLH6CaN3HEh8WcqbvoBMjbMunsgCoNIKnuj8LsOS9cmHzCaOuElSErEkDuak8nlgQWmLoddojvD5h62kpt581tog/s1600/DSC_0157.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGQsXPyeLHbwKmiV3dih5m9_h6CUKqTBKd3C1k50yY5medpFerYEfCLH6CaN3HEh8WcqbvoBMjbMunsgCoNIKnuj8LsOS9cmHzCaOuElSErEkDuak8nlgQWmLoddojvD5h62kpt581tog/s320/DSC_0157.JPG" width="213" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Only the navy crops are new/new (present from my mum), others I've had for years except for the pencil skirt & the cropped jeans which were my loot from the clothes swap party back in February.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">5 Jumpers:</span></h3>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4YlCGakeGI4mVFPmZH1FqunRTxRtbIC39Sn84LqvKLbp6kdzGWaOm-rUWrpCEJU3qVjZAW5rWqx8RWSa_Ln1_oZ-FoJSWmSWJ-KNNijQ-uERZZcjHtw4c6Nwo4aSQPIX9mY2Bsc0d4Ms/s1600/DSC_0156.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4YlCGakeGI4mVFPmZH1FqunRTxRtbIC39Sn84LqvKLbp6kdzGWaOm-rUWrpCEJU3qVjZAW5rWqx8RWSa_Ln1_oZ-FoJSWmSWJ-KNNijQ-uERZZcjHtw4c6Nwo4aSQPIX9mY2Bsc0d4Ms/s320/DSC_0156.JPG" width="320" /></a><span style="text-align: left;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; text-align: left;">Again - I could probably have got away with the 3 thin ones - but I like to feel prepared for chilly weather.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">10 dresses:</span></h3>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh13OpPkMQSe8XWUNeuDQsSXle1-A0ZT9ffYRWMkdlOL00_Ym4iqRFWa1eccc95YgCs6kurXtTzuQk9I5hqzhyYG1LVBk6iq8AqzGuiUUr7ccZnFZD26eq4cnOsbUz9pHR4rTp7qyCV3tE/s1600/DSC_0161.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh13OpPkMQSe8XWUNeuDQsSXle1-A0ZT9ffYRWMkdlOL00_Ym4iqRFWa1eccc95YgCs6kurXtTzuQk9I5hqzhyYG1LVBk6iq8AqzGuiUUr7ccZnFZD26eq4cnOsbUz9pHR4rTp7qyCV3tE/s320/DSC_0161.JPG" width="213" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So excited by how colorful these are. The red one on the top left is far too big for me - but that'll be my summer sewing project - turning it into a fitted number.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">6 pairs of shoes:</span></h3>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg76lawiBSJ1cKDv7aEBn9QCEzEmPCjU4IHZOYMwQi8afoOVK6Yh6_SgwEXrXFJoAgkd-7xs3ca-dxwglKPKgNCqNwme2rSDreH22oY00FJaEKEj2RX0i2hXirUp5ODbmCYEjLv5gteIxI/s1600/DSC_0164.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg76lawiBSJ1cKDv7aEBn9QCEzEmPCjU4IHZOYMwQi8afoOVK6Yh6_SgwEXrXFJoAgkd-7xs3ca-dxwglKPKgNCqNwme2rSDreH22oY00FJaEKEj2RX0i2hXirUp5ODbmCYEjLv5gteIxI/s320/DSC_0164.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Gold boots & red sandals. Heaven.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">2 jackets:</span></h3>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRJ3QrxBew6fJPv-ympDkcFpzIxqwB-ESzf6TSD7LiILpJs3HXko0jmo7iFaCqMak4XnmZDYj5AKTmbyCGR29E-mpcdAysjrkPRvXOcMkjFSRcCvNMWMtsmflnL1CAKKg7eHuZrgvQqmg/s1600/DSC_0166.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRJ3QrxBew6fJPv-ympDkcFpzIxqwB-ESzf6TSD7LiILpJs3HXko0jmo7iFaCqMak4XnmZDYj5AKTmbyCGR29E-mpcdAysjrkPRvXOcMkjFSRcCvNMWMtsmflnL1CAKKg7eHuZrgvQqmg/s320/DSC_0166.JPG" width="213" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">1 smart & 1 denim. Can't go wrong!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">43 items for 4 months. It looks like mountains of clothes right? It feels like mountains of clothes. So many options!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Happy happy me *skips off into garden in lovely red sandals*</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">PS this year is all about happy - you can get involved <a href="http://clothesoffmybackchallenge.blogspot.co.uk/p/so-since-this-is-first-of-new-series.html">here</a></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10726402096024026570noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4535975625435869468.post-86261049811880122372016-05-27T08:20:00.002-07:002016-05-27T08:20:56.419-07:00The end of the capsule wardrobe challenge<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<h2 style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I turned 36 on Monday - this marked the finishing line for the clothes off my back challenge</span></h2>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So it's done.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Finished. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Kaput.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">365 days of living with 35 items of clothing. There have been holidays, changes of jobs, 5 weddings, a hen & a stag, a funeral, a month in India, hundreds of dog walks, dinners and trips to the pub. I haven't had the final total through from Contact a Family yet but there is an amazing £3,527 on the just giving page, plus gift aid (which most of you contributed - well done!), and close to £1000 raised by the close swap which means the grand total is likely to come in well over £5000. Thank you all for that really. Thankyou. That money will make a real difference.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">How did it feel to wake up on my birthday with no restrictions at all on what I'd wear?</span></h2>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It was alright - there were a couple of things that were nice:</span><br />
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<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It was really nice to be wearing clothes that don't look worn out.</span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<li><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It was really, really nice to have bright colors</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> back.</span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<li><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It was really, really, really nice to be able to grab a thermal on my way out without mentally calculating what this meant for my wardrobe for the rest of the year.</span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And just a bit of a relief - not to feel like I had to wear particular things for someone else's sake. To dress selfishly if you like.</span><br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJzSZfDgU28UTFFF-XBmFjCVg0z0EH2W9Kmt625WEfPMuytzXwhpWYM8jEceYhEGXP4LzVlG5cUnRzMC2uC7yrnHBcEwvYOU1P-q5-QIOHDK2N3hyphenhyphenGjbmLw5drsP1z1rgaUD6CX5WnsLM/s1600/DSC_0071.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJzSZfDgU28UTFFF-XBmFjCVg0z0EH2W9Kmt625WEfPMuytzXwhpWYM8jEceYhEGXP4LzVlG5cUnRzMC2uC7yrnHBcEwvYOU1P-q5-QIOHDK2N3hyphenhyphenGjbmLw5drsP1z1rgaUD6CX5WnsLM/s320/DSC_0071.JPG" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">On my birthday. Dressing just for me.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<h3 style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And I'm looking forward to a year of dressing selfishly this year. </span></h3>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Yes, I've put myself on a shopping ban from the 1st June until mid September. And yes, I've packed away a lot of my wardrobe so I'm limited to 43 items for that period.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But that's for me. It's to get me away from wasting time online researching clothes, and back to enjoying wearing them. Every day I'll get to make the choice of what I'm wearing. And if I break the rules that'll be about me, not you and not fundraising for charity.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And let's face it 43 items isn't going to feel like a hardship. It isn't a hardship - there are loads of clothes there. I could easily have edited down to 30 for the period and been fine - but the 43 I ended up with allowed me some silly choices, a skirt I've owned for 12 years that only goes with 2 other things in the capsule but makes me happy everytime I wear it, my Grandad's gardening shirt, some warmer clothes I probably won't need - but knowing they are there makes me comfortable that if I want to go camping I can. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And on top of that I haven't counted scarves, or waterproofs and stuff in that, so I can wear any of those I already own - anytime. And I can wear different stuff to weddings etc. I feel like this is an almost dangerous amount of excess. Except then I look in my lovely small wardrobe, that still has loads of space in it and think about how far I've come this year, and realise that this experiment has been a success.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I look at that wardrobe and feel confident in my choices. Last year I made some huge mistakes when choosing what to put in the capsule - but I look at what I've selected for the next 4 months and I feel like they represent me really well. And me now. Not me when I was 18, which is what lots of my shopping choices before seemed to be aimed at (I'm looking at you off the shoulder tops & crocheted belly tops......).</span><br />
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<h3 style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So what now for me? </span></h3>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's been really interesting this year to have something to structure my life on. To know that when people asked what I did when I was 35 - I'll have a clear unifying memory of the year to bring my experiences together.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And it's been good to have an excuse to write. I took years off writing for pleasure - in fact I took writing off my list of things I knew how to do. And this year that has changed. I've enjoyed blogging, I've enjoyed thinking about things more deeply in order to allow myself to express them clearly. I've enjoyed having conversations with you guys about this stuff. It's been helpful. It's made me happy. And I don't want to stop.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I learnt a lot about myself this year, and have got significantly better at making choices that make me happy. And so that's my project for next year - to learn my own personal secrets to happy. And- when I think they'll interest you- to share them with you. So when I look back on 36 - I want to be able to say that it was my happiest year yet. Here's hoping!</span><br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10726402096024026570noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4535975625435869468.post-9979971146787759142016-05-20T02:50:00.002-07:002016-05-20T02:50:25.718-07:00What should I wear?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<h2 style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So I’m in bed writing this post and wondering what to wear.</span></h2>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This time last year I was preparing myself for <a href="http://clothesoffmybackchallenge.blogspot.co.uk/2015/05/the-birth-of-clothes-off-my-back.html">a year with just 35 items of clothing</a>. I was curious about how it would go. Nervous that I’d
find it really tricky, and that I’d try to bow out 6 months in. I thought I
might hibernate for the year because I’d lost one of the ways I could express
myself. Thankfully that didn’t happen. This year has been great, I’ve learnt
loads, I’ve shared loads & you guys have shared with me too – it’s been a genuine
pleasure.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So the last week or so has been really weird – I’ve felt
more constrained by my wardrobe than I have at any time in the last year. Today
with 3 days left to go I’ve mentally put away lots of the over worn, stained
and tatty things I’ve been wearing for the last 12 months. I’ve let myself get
excited about the fresh, new, and precious older things I’d packed away. So
getting dressed has been harder.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Particularly at work. Yesterday was my last day of the
challenge where I had to go to work and I breathed a huge sigh of relief at the
end of it. At least for the next couple of days I can be comfortably scruffy
before finally bursting out of my cocoon on Monday one superbly over excited butterfly.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So a full year and 34 items down (though it will be 35 – cos
I’m going to let myself wear a new frock for my birthday BBQ) I’m feeling
pretty good about having got here.</span></div>
<br />
<h3 style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I did have an (almost) cheat on Tuesday</span>. </h3>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I thought I was
doing a phone interview on ATU’s. Turns out it was a filmed one – and I was
wearing head to toe denim – so I had to borrow a workmates jacket for an hour
in order to look smart enough to represent the organisation. I’ve popped that
in the activity category though – alongside the time I had to wear a Contact a
Family t-shirt at an event. After all it defeats the point if my wearing less
clothes to raise money for disabled children ends up negatively affecting those
children in other ways. Still I am looking forward to having a jacket that kept
on the back of my chair for just such emergencies again. There is something comforting
about keeping an emergency smart outfit at work ‘just in case’. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But I’m looking
forward to more than that:</span></div>
<br />
<h3 style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; text-align: left;">
<br /></h3>
<br />
<h3 style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I’m looking forward to wearing my cape!</span></h3>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYfTBJAskTfTauM4svrHHzrKJ2BeQxcVFVquuHq2gNsqxnA6UUCjDz83s0Jpo4MNqkvpq6tojhDgYx1IalCe7ppLwRIrF8MC7VTe1DZvg3e0GQ0dbO9hA3Bd4k6xGXEQ3kTxX_rh-4Luk/s1600/DSC_0016.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYfTBJAskTfTauM4svrHHzrKJ2BeQxcVFVquuHq2gNsqxnA6UUCjDz83s0Jpo4MNqkvpq6tojhDgYx1IalCe7ppLwRIrF8MC7VTe1DZvg3e0GQ0dbO9hA3Bd4k6xGXEQ3kTxX_rh-4Luk/s320/DSC_0016.JPG" width="213" /></a></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My sister made me a cape for my birthday last year, she’d
started making it before I decided to do the challenge and so I’ve had it in
storage all year. It’s lined, and embroidered and a bit of frivolous marvelousness
& just not something that you could justify putting in a year round
capsule. It’s felt quite odd having something made for me with such love just
hanging there without being worn. I’m a big fan of the velveteen rabbit and
that idea that something gains life once it’s loved is meaningful to me. </span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And I kind of feel the same about clothes. They are
meaningless unless they are worn. I feel the deepest affection for some of the
clothes I’ve worn this year – more than I’ve felt for anything I’ve had in
years – because being well used has somehow leant them personality. And that
cape won’t really come alive until it’s worn – which means so far Julya’s work
was for nothing. But come my birthday it’ll become the life and soul of the
party</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<h3 style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I’m looking forward to colour. </span></h3>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; text-align: left;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEPkLTK90BpetLFt1b7CEX3THepO8QJHcrkl3VbsLvAPhoI4VDxmMTgjptz9HkmfS-zBQCMR55sAci9Uz58AjlJpdocLxAaX_j5BrRy3cOlGb2zqvurivlVrDpdtN1EYOQOBx0JbZWk1k/s1600/DSC_0019.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEPkLTK90BpetLFt1b7CEX3THepO8QJHcrkl3VbsLvAPhoI4VDxmMTgjptz9HkmfS-zBQCMR55sAci9Uz58AjlJpdocLxAaX_j5BrRy3cOlGb2zqvurivlVrDpdtN1EYOQOBx0JbZWk1k/s320/DSC_0019.JPG" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I wrote about how much I missed colour <a href="http://clothesoffmybackchallenge.blogspot.co.uk/2015/11/colour-capsule-wardrobe.html">here</a>. I really have felt the lack of it all year. The temptation was to dress like a rainbow once the challenge was over. But I don’t want to overdose so most of the stuff I’m wearing through the rest of spring and summer is blue, grey or white still. But there is also red in there, and rust and orange, and even a pair of gold boots. And that makes my heart sing!</span> </div>
</span><div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
</div>
<br />
<h3 style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I’m looking forward to the weather not dictating what goes
on my feet.</span></h3>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">One pair of sandals is doable. But it’s not interesting. I
wear sandals all summer. I’ve been wearing mine nearly everyday since mid March
and fully expect to have my toes out until October.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So while I still love the brown pair I’ve been wearing all
year I’m excited about having a white pair (that I’d put into storage), and a
red pair (my birthday present from Matt) to wear as well. Because actually the
same navy dress will look really different depending on which I wear. And
hopefully I’ll have slightly less stark tanlines if I change up my footwear
too!</span></div>
<br />
<h3 style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I’m looking forward to not halfway housing my outfits for
every occasion</span></h3>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I want to be able to properly dress up for weddings (<a href="http://clothesoffmybackchallenge.blogspot.co.uk/2015/08/capsule-query-do-work-clothes-work-at.html">I wrote about that here</a>). And properly grunge out at weekends. And actually 40 items
rotated 3 times a year will let me do that. No more work clothes at weddings,
no more working out what I need to wear
to work in the week to identify what I can walk the dog in on a Sunday without
doing an extra wash. Bliss.</span></div>
<br />
<h3 style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I’m looking forward to not shopping</span></h3>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ok this is an odd one. This year I’ve definitely bought less
clothes. But I’ve probably spent more time researching them. Because I allowed
myself to pick things up as I went along – I was always researching the next
item – and then getting overwhelmed by choice and making bad decisions in a
panic.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I might make bad choices for the next capsule. But the
difference is – I’ll only have to live with these choices for 4 months, and
that the whole capsule will be there from the beginning – so with the exception
of something for Jo’s wedding – I won’t shop at all from June until September.
That’s going to free up a load of book reading, dog walking, thinking and
writing time. And I’m really excited about that!</span></div>
<br />
<h2 style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I’m also looking forward to not asking you guys for money
anymore. But I’m not quite done yet – there are 3 days left to donate – it’s a
wonderful cause and you can make your contribution <a href="https://www.justgiving.com/Elizabeth-Archer1"><span style="color: blue;">here</span>.</a></span></h2>
<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10726402096024026570noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4535975625435869468.post-73704392961751760992016-05-07T09:02:00.000-07:002016-05-07T09:02:32.180-07:00the value of friendships<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<h2 style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I’ve been thinking lots about friendships recently. In fact
that was why there was such a big gap between posts last month – because I was
trying to work out how to write this one.</span></h2>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We all know that friendships are a hugely important element
of happy lives. Because friends choose us. They choose us, and them making that
choice boosts our confidence. And those friends that choose us, and stick with
us are our touchstones, our sense of self worth, our happy memories, and the
people that make us roar with laughter. Theirs are the hands that hold ours
when we’re sad and broken, that pick us up and dust us off before they tell us it’s
all going to be ok, and because they are our friends we believe them. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<h3 style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Friends let’s face it are kind of magic.</span></h3>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I’ve been thinking about this a lot in the last month for
two reasons. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Firstly in my new job I’ve been hanging out with lots of
young people with autism. We’ve talked about all sorts of things but whatever
we start off talking about the conversation always comes back to friendship. Young
people have spoken to me about loneliness, about bullying, about the enjoyment
they get from friends, and about the difference it makes to their confidence to
be truly seen and truly accepted. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And children and young people with additional needs can find
it hard to make friends. Our education systems are busy teaching children to
conform – it’s hard to get 30 five year olds to do stuff, so we reward them
when they fit in. And so children believe that fitting in is good – and they
can consciously or unconsciously punish children that don’t. And so really
unfairly those children who have to work hardest to manage the school
environment, are often also the children without the comfort of friends. And
that’s tragic.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As an adult I have several autistic friends who I value
really highly – but was I a nice enough, brave enough little girl to have built
those friendships with these people who don’t (thank god) conform even a little
bit back then? I really don’t know. And that’s a shame – because knowing the
joy these friends bring to my life now, I can’t help but think they could have
made my childhood even more of a riot!<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<h3 style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Which brings me to the second reason I’m thinking a lot
about friendship at the moment. My best friend left London in March, and it’s
going to change my life.</span></h3>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh48trUOmk70lIneu9dl7F8tsem6mm5w-R7mvlqlE3vYfBe8_Tsi_XwRfWoXcS056q1HcyI4SoP36BSN-AlJui1yLxgDoG4XlAP_5Rs26ACSacLxAoXnCHk1i3V_DMFI5gu3HE0OlSWzcA/s1600/cat.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh48trUOmk70lIneu9dl7F8tsem6mm5w-R7mvlqlE3vYfBe8_Tsi_XwRfWoXcS056q1HcyI4SoP36BSN-AlJui1yLxgDoG4XlAP_5Rs26ACSacLxAoXnCHk1i3V_DMFI5gu3HE0OlSWzcA/s320/cat.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The best Friend</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As a 35 year old woman I know I sometimes get judged for
talking about my ‘best friend’. I’ve had people ask me if I think I’m still at
school – tease me about whether I list people in order of preference, or if we
braid each others hair (never) and have sleepovers (sometimes).</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And I get it. I do. There is something very primary school
about having a named best friend – but at the same time there would be
something very dishonest about referring to Cat as anything else.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I am lucky to have some wonderful friends – the ladies in
women’s hour, my Sheffield gang, Bob & Laura, my sisters. I’m not short of
people. But Cat is different.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">She’s different because she’s the first person I chose that
I’ve kept, and I’m the same for her. We’ve been friends now for more than 25
years. We were friends when we were largely unformed as human beings, and we’ve
stayed friends through primary and secondary school, through parental illness,
family strife, boyfriends, marriages, pets, jobs and houses. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I distinctly remember when I first noticed Cat. We went to a
small school where there weren’t quite enough children for a 2 form intake, so
some classes had a mix of two year groups in them.</span><span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">In gymnastics one day our (slightly hot tempered) gym
teacher, let off at a girl I hadn’t seen before. He shouted at her for going to
get something before she was given permission. The girl had long blond hair in
a plait and looked like butter wouldn’t melt, she didn’t answer back & did
exactly what she was told, but I noticed her face set and her fists clench, and
saw in her a bit of the steel there was in me.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuKTmjb3BgEkL9-JVBWvk30euWrqCm8eKlwN-PE-bchePj3_7CoTPV7yno_Yw8kxBxhuT_2lr6HmuAOjcL9M9h6_5bNi0qk48R2NprVYh_XKX2QotJML9duHw9fhgJ4M_QJkPxD0k1DwM/s1600/DSC_1116.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuKTmjb3BgEkL9-JVBWvk30euWrqCm8eKlwN-PE-bchePj3_7CoTPV7yno_Yw8kxBxhuT_2lr6HmuAOjcL9M9h6_5bNi0qk48R2NprVYh_XKX2QotJML9duHw9fhgJ4M_QJkPxD0k1DwM/s320/DSC_1116.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Massive Geeks - but best bud geeks</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I was a good little girl. Worryingly good really. I was shy
and quiet and I read in the playground. My school reports referred to me as
kind, and helpful and well behaved – and that was certainly partly true. But I
was also a very angry little thing who had seen that there was unfairness in
the world and really didn’t like it. At ten it’s difficult to express
complexity in emotions. There were the good children, who were happy. And the
angry children who were naughty. And I thought those were the options. I
thought I was the odd one out for being confident but quiet, angry but well
behaved.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Cat was the first other child I met who I saw that
complexity in. She was never the loudest, but she was self confident to the
point of cockiness, deeply imaginative, and darkly funny. She also believed in
fairness just as much as I did.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We made friends after she invited me round to see her horse.
I believed that no-one in real life actually owned a horse – and basically went
round to catch her in a lie. Instead I spent the evening picking up her
(totally non fictional) horses poo. Picking up poo might not sound like the
most fun thing for two 10 year olds to spend the evening doing – but it was
brilliant. We made jokes and the other person laughed – it was a bit of a miracle
really – because we even then had wonky senses of humour. Anyway I walked home
confident I’d made a friend for life.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3o1f54KEl7csFr-uJkhag9da04PyxOt0b7owuExsST4O3tlyJCdu-Lq4CY1GQuDNN5mDHBtWmoEp1ylPPwVB9JD0ofgUY_t1F0gKSWaEPi_ArwW7phNt5pv8Yu7OAnOQyULSaLir3KGs/s1600/DSC_1129.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3o1f54KEl7csFr-uJkhag9da04PyxOt0b7owuExsST4O3tlyJCdu-Lq4CY1GQuDNN5mDHBtWmoEp1ylPPwVB9JD0ofgUY_t1F0gKSWaEPi_ArwW7phNt5pv8Yu7OAnOQyULSaLir3KGs/s400/DSC_1129.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Yes - we were exactly that cool</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Cat and I made our way through secondary school, with shared
friends, shared crushes, shared late night/ early morning walks home from indie
clubs singing at the top of our lungs. We walked our parents dogs together every
day of our childhood, and then when I got my own dog we walked her together
every Saturday morning. The rhythm of our lives is in those walks and the
evenings drinking cider and talking about nothing at all. We featured heavily
in each others weddings, we’ve career counselled each other, and listened to one another figure out our lives long after everyone else has lost interest and walked away. </span><br />
<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So when I claim Cat as my best friend – it’s not a transitory term to be given or taken away on a whim. It’s an official title and it’s lifelong.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIy3sOPA6dIRaZoOhyphenhyphennXw5o91WYd9WYB__2JilSlxBTd2k6o0e-afDRsP8zrwhwpSWJFFMJDcWUU882wJNhHTvdBHr3xsecjoh1P65fki1qCv9WjYaWVXfPnkErKu2opdsDkmT_J6uGTc/s1600/DSC_1119.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIy3sOPA6dIRaZoOhyphenhyphennXw5o91WYd9WYB__2JilSlxBTd2k6o0e-afDRsP8zrwhwpSWJFFMJDcWUU882wJNhHTvdBHr3xsecjoh1P65fki1qCv9WjYaWVXfPnkErKu2opdsDkmT_J6uGTc/s320/DSC_1119.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">At the end of my hen night</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I know I’m lucky to have had the same best mate since I was 10. I know it’s rare – but I’m also pretty sure that women like me- those of us with the same best mate since childhood – we can spot each other in bars. We might not make a huge amount of effort because we’re confident we’re likeable – I mean we must be, right? Because our favourite person in the world picked us years ago, and still unequivocally thinks we rock. We remember our teenage selves as likeable – because we’ve heard our friend tell those stories and we come out of them sounding ok – so it can’t have been as much of a car crash as everyone else says.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Knowing our friends like us helps us like ourselves. And every embarrassing story from my teenage years – I’ve heard Cat reframe with me as the hero. Because she’s my best mate so I’m always a hero. And I don’t have to reframe a bloody thing for Cat – because to my mind she’s always been the smartest, funniest person in the room even if sometimes she doesn’t remember it that way and I have to remind her.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitYZxSTVj80ISvQnw6gAwFSrDMlxpIN9YTtXwrEbjYQ3PYlfb5db8MB6BOpUykzHajF1tfNbWWBkd8qbHXkTNXRiCFnu71jN58GNdrjd6uwK26Psj67TR_YMzMJaaF9wx-pU7iRzmHrTw/s1600/DSC_0564.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitYZxSTVj80ISvQnw6gAwFSrDMlxpIN9YTtXwrEbjYQ3PYlfb5db8MB6BOpUykzHajF1tfNbWWBkd8qbHXkTNXRiCFnu71jN58GNdrjd6uwK26Psj67TR_YMzMJaaF9wx-pU7iRzmHrTw/s320/DSC_0564.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Hanging out in India this year</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And when she decided to move to Scotland I was delighted for her. There is no doubt in my mind that it is the best possible choice for her.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But I must admit I’m finding it strange, and sad to see less of her. I’m terrible at speaking on the phone (barely do it even with my family), and I worry that we’ll lose that rhythm of comfortably walking together saying nothing, or talking with such urgency that we trip over ourselves and each other in our anxiety to get the words out. And if I’m finding this tough I can only imagine how tough it is for the teenagers out there who say they don’t have a single friend (and there’s lots of them).<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So this month I’ve been thinking a lot about friendship. About its value to me and to everyone. And about how different my life would have been without it. And it has made me determined that every child no matter how different they are has the best possible chance to make real and lasting friendships.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">How to get this done? I’ve no idea. Answers on a postcard folks?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>It's not too late to donate to Contact a Family - the link is at the top of the page.</i></span></div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10726402096024026570noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4535975625435869468.post-76421879286092410232016-05-05T07:54:00.001-07:002016-05-05T07:54:08.948-07:00what comes after a capsule wardrobe<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"> Can you believe it’s
been nearly a year already?</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">There are less than 3 weeks to go until the <a href="http://clothesoffmybackchallenge.blogspot.co.uk/p/about-challenge.html">challenge</a> is
over and so I keep finding myself answering the same 2 questions from people: What happens
next? And do I want clothes for my birthday?</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I’ve been thinking about this a lot since the last post. In
the time between posts I’ve started a new job – which has given me the chance
to view the challenge through a fresh set of eyes.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">It was really easy showing up at Contact a Family in
scruffy, and sometimes bizzare outfits as a result of poor planning on the old
washing schedule. Everyone there knew about the challenge and since it was for
the organisation we all worked for – I got a free pass for sometimes looking
like I’d slept in my clothes.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">In my new job it's different. For starters it’s a fairly smart workplace. People show
up every day looking polished, and all of my clothes look a little – well –
crumpled. People are being very kind and accepting about it – but I’m really
looking forward to looking just a little bit less limp at work.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">So once the challenge is over – I am going to be wearing
different clothes. But I’m not going to go mad with shopping – because actually
this year has been really good for me. I’ve put a bit of time into thinking about what happens next and have started going through the
clothes that I put away & writing a list of what I think I’ll need from May
until September. </span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">When I began putting things back into the wardrobe I noticed
myself feeling a little bit nervous. I didn’t like how full my wardrobe was
beginning to look. I found myself remembering with horrible clarity the
mornings where I tried on one outfit after another, displacing my real
anxieties about wether the meeting I was going into was going to go well with
superficial concerns about wether my outfit worked. And what’s worse after
making myself late choosing an outfit – I’d inevitably decide I hated it by the
time I got to work.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">That hasn’t happened to me this year. Yes there have been times
when I haven’t been 100% in love with what I’m wearing – but narrowing down my
choices has meant that I know from careful repetition which combination of
clothes work for which occasion. So I got my mornings back - & while I didn’t
use them for anything healthy like going for a run there has been a number of occasions
when the final reread of of a paper I’m sending off has resulted in real improvements because
of that extra time.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And the bad choices I made? The stuff that even though I had
a tiny wardrobe to choose from barely got worn? Well they taught me valuable stuff
about what doesn’t suit me that I’d never have learnt if I hadn’t have had to
sit with them for so long. Hopefully I’ll make less mistakes with what I choose
to wear over the summer. But if I do make bad choices? You can bet your bottom dollar I want to learn
from them.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">So how do I stop myself from falling off the wagon in
spectacular style? By setting myself new rules as I transition into a challenge
free year. My plan is to put together a larger capsule of 40ish things to see
me from my birthday into Autumn - most of the stuff I'll already own - but where I spot a gap I'll give myself permission to buy something new. I’ve already started to put the wardrobe together &
I’ll let myself pick up bits and pieces until about a week after my birthday. And
then no shopping until it starts to get cold again. Hopefully there’ll also be no
sense of hardship cos I’ll still have more to wear in the next 4 months than
I’ve had for the whole of the last year.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And so clothes for my birthday? Not unless you’re really
confident that they’ll make it into the 40....</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Honestly as I get older I need less and less. So I really don't mind not getting anything at all -in fact I'd rather that than people waste their money on stuff that goes unused.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">But if you're determined to get me something then I'm always happiest with gifts that are handmade. Failing that if you are really after going shopping:</span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">If you’re feeling super flush (or want to club together with
a load of mates) I’ve been after one of <a href="http://www.habitat.co.uk/maui-floral-deckchair-446954">these deckchairs </a>since I worked at habitat in the 90's, they are on sale at the mo for £45. We already
have gorgeous sun loungers at home (which I inevitably fall asleep on) but for
reading a book with a gin and tonic – what could be better? </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWcTXepwNVCvtWmtDkwag0YZ6Lr2_tRdueyNw3yhW3ZhHIBmnFHyob8rC_0D7y4XCqZ3w_vijLSMGtxA-YjxIYmeN3zP5TlafEZoMwyd-YMhfdSg_cmd2PHS61AKxUOQ4QNd9NErSkrQg/s1600/deckchair.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWcTXepwNVCvtWmtDkwag0YZ6Lr2_tRdueyNw3yhW3ZhHIBmnFHyob8rC_0D7y4XCqZ3w_vijLSMGtxA-YjxIYmeN3zP5TlafEZoMwyd-YMhfdSg_cmd2PHS61AKxUOQ4QNd9NErSkrQg/s1600/deckchair.jpg" /></a></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And talking of gin.... – any gin really – but <a href="http://eastlondonliquorcompany.com/east-london-liquor-company.html#distillery">East London Liquor Company's</a> is my favourite:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiag9zId5OyCciyeViyMd8mmbXJHg0n-2uEDqaonc2KzF1HI0e5NVkZn2r1lFGPbyHS8zeRG5jO5wlAU-4bywB4KHNrA9A7EoOU-6EKceazkrS9EJoTUSU7kBfYB9iShPAp2idHi7nRLSU/s1600/gin+plus.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiag9zId5OyCciyeViyMd8mmbXJHg0n-2uEDqaonc2KzF1HI0e5NVkZn2r1lFGPbyHS8zeRG5jO5wlAU-4bywB4KHNrA9A7EoOU-6EKceazkrS9EJoTUSU7kBfYB9iShPAp2idHi7nRLSU/s320/gin+plus.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Or a jar of Rhubarb and ginger jam. It makes me almost too happy.
(though not as happy as Nessie’s windfall jam – hint hint)</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Or make my work day a little more pleasant with some more of <a href="https://www.fortnumandmason.com/products/highgrove-organic-peppermint-infusion-20-tea-bags?taxon_id=630">these tea bags</a> . My best mate got me some for
Christmas & I’m about to run out which is giving me the fear as they
basically sustain me through the working day. First thing I do when I get to
work is make a cuppa with one of these bags, and the same cup just gets topped
up with boiling water six or seven times a day. Which means that as expensive
as these teabags seem at first glance – they work out a bit of a bargain.</span></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">A big cylindrical crystal vase (and don’t you dare buy it
new – they are ruinously expensive) but if you happen to see one in a charity
shop, or gathering dust at the back of you cupboard – dibs. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Or you know – make that donation to Contact a Family you’d
been meaning to…….<a href="https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/Elizabeth-Archer1?">here</a>.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<br /></div>
<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10726402096024026570noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4535975625435869468.post-66144534648022085842016-03-26T03:57:00.002-07:002016-04-07T20:46:08.922-07:00Wardrobe update - Capsule items 31-33<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<h2 style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I'm running out of options for the capsule</span></h2>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Which probably isn't that surprising as, as you all know I’ve been surviving on a <a href="http://clothesoffmybackchallenge.blogspot.co.uk/2015/05/the-list-or-clothes-that-ill-be-sick-of.html">capsule of 35 items</a> for
10 months now. Except that’s not strictly true is it? Because even now with
less than 9 weeks to the end of the challenge I’m actually on 33. And I added a
dress on Tuesday.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I’ve said before that there are benefits to planning at
least most of your wardrobe in advance, but one of the things I didn’t cover
was wear and tear. It’s taken me so long to fill the capsule that items I add
now will likely be pristine next year – but the ones I put in during the first
2 months? They have worked much harder than they had to.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Because actually for the first 6 months my wardrobe was less
than X items. And that’s just silly. I mentioned to a friend how I'd been after a breton top all year, but that it felt a bit late to get one now and she thought I was mad. Why hadn't I just got one in May? Indecisiveness that's why. It's meant I've had far less options than I should have throughout the last 10 months. But it does mean I can a add a few bits now - which I'm excited about!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I haven’t written about the last 3 items at all. So here
they are:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<h3 style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Capsule wardrobe item # 31</span></h3>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiAYDkohEMsWiVK7ZAByqZTIR4pRWvHGT09ffJyR6dwyHLMBHcPuKlOpjrxdgHaAvt__lRg1Co4VeIXb4h1lKuHYaJncgF_e0cQH8KiNyIQsJoXAzimFM4VTDl_aDbTojYVEVQSHhHPmk/s1600/DSC_0762.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiAYDkohEMsWiVK7ZAByqZTIR4pRWvHGT09ffJyR6dwyHLMBHcPuKlOpjrxdgHaAvt__lRg1Co4VeIXb4h1lKuHYaJncgF_e0cQH8KiNyIQsJoXAzimFM4VTDl_aDbTojYVEVQSHhHPmk/s400/DSC_0762.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In November I added this lovely shirt. And then I wore it to
death. Which is weird because I’d somehow managed to avoid the old flannel
shirt trend for years and now I’m totally bought in.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<h3 style="text-align: left;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Capsule wardrobe item #32</span></o:p></h3>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-8qI0dj4pEIV8EBJbEAIC51dAa8qut-MTUYftHgOMEraMFBMrMP_9v5-XVGl2YAu4zDci1vQF2VTdk2uwUKm40xyjwYGB2HoNm8pHkCe_jYNtlEIzLusTNv5Yup08-3K26GVsBF4pBx0/s1600/DSC_0982.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-8qI0dj4pEIV8EBJbEAIC51dAa8qut-MTUYftHgOMEraMFBMrMP_9v5-XVGl2YAu4zDci1vQF2VTdk2uwUKm40xyjwYGB2HoNm8pHkCe_jYNtlEIzLusTNv5Yup08-3K26GVsBF4pBx0/s400/DSC_0982.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
<div>
<o:p><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Item 32 I bought in India: </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">While we were away Ange and I spent a few days in Amma’s
ashram and one of the core principles there is seva – or selfless service. Basically
this means if you are going to stay there – then you do your share of the
chores.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">They also feel strongly about
modest dress – so I wore my long grey dress A LOT! I signed up for hanging
washing on the roof, washing posts & clearing waste from a plot of
scrubland as my seva.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The scrubland clearing was scheduled for between 12 and 3.
Yes you’re right – that is easily the hottest part of the day, and yes – India is
a hot, hot country. I really, really wanted to get involved in the clearing but
my clothing was a real obstacle. Serious gardening in a long floaty skirt just
isn’t practical – and doing heavy physical work in the midday sun in the only
clothing deemed modest enough for the place I was staying seemed unlikely to
enhance my chances of making friends with people in the dining hall. None wants
to sit next to the smelly girl at lunch.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So I took myself to Ram’s Bazaar – which is essentially the
ashram’s charity shop. People often make the ashram one of the last stops on
their trip and so leave clothes they won’t use at home there. I had a rummage
and came away with these trousers which cost me the princely sum of 80p.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And they were such a good buy. Probably not something I’ll
wear loads in the UK, but absolutely perfect for India. Cool, comfortable,
modest – just perfect. I wore them pretty much every other day for the rest of
the trip.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And clearing that scrubland? Probably one of my favourite
afternoons of the whole trip – it was fascinating. We saw loads of weird grubs
and burrowing insects I wasn’t expecting, spent ages trying to work out what
the rubbish used to be before it was burnt, were amazed at the heat coming off
the decomposing ayurvedic waste, and shat ourselves when more than 2 hours into
doing this work in sandals the team leader remembered to mention that we should
be careful rummaging through the rubbish as there would DEFINITELTLY BE SNAKES
THERE! As you can imagine I reacted calmly and with dignity when faced with
this knowledge …<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<h3 style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Capsule Wardrobe item #33</span></h3>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2PstFYfqFOWsue4bcNqVlS90D1ROBPiilxEys0NNL0JAPHZlmS3nQZHjH1ci_unu6qYYAppcr6MyWVh7YQyJ7C-HVQy3u0EWKRhGvcue1YrISVMKbHea8vQD-hx4kW6LP1ApNxLWVqG0/s1600/DSC_1137.JPG" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2PstFYfqFOWsue4bcNqVlS90D1ROBPiilxEys0NNL0JAPHZlmS3nQZHjH1ci_unu6qYYAppcr6MyWVh7YQyJ7C-HVQy3u0EWKRhGvcue1YrISVMKbHea8vQD-hx4kW6LP1ApNxLWVqG0/s320/DSC_1137.JPG" width="266" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Look Familiar?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Item 33 also has an Indian connection. Those of you who’ve
been with me from the start of this journey will be very familiar with my denim
dress. I wore it on the very first day of the challenge – and I’m pretty sure a
week hasn’t gone past since where I haven’t worn it at least once. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">You’d
imagine I’d be bored of it by now – but actually the opposite is true, I just
love it more and more. So while I was away I had 3 copies made, one in dark
blue, one in beige with blue dots and one in orange raw silk. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">My intention was
to hold them over until next year – but earlier this week I decided I couldn’t
wait any longer and added the beige dress to the circulation. And I love it – I
don’t have to think about the different ways it’s possible to wear it – cos I’ve
worked all of those out with the denim dress. It’s like a comfortable old
friend, who has just got a haircut that really suits them. Comfortable and sexy
at the same time. I’m pretty sure it’s going to get loads of wear over the next
9 weeks.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And because it feels silly to hold over the final 2 items
and then only wear them 2 or 3 times in the challenge – my plan is to complete
the capsule in the next week or so, adding (I think) another dress, and a pair
of smart & comfortable sandals. That way I’ll at least have 8 weeks out of
this challenge year when I know what it’s like to have the luxury of choosing
from a full 35 item capsule!</span><o:p></o:p><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>There's still 9 weeks left of the challenge - so it's not too late to donate! <a href="https://www.justgiving.com/Elizabeth-Archer1">Just follow this link.</a></i></span></div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10726402096024026570noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4535975625435869468.post-52444070339759297652016-03-22T06:02:00.005-07:002016-03-22T06:02:51.888-07:00Capsule wardrobe top tips<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So 10 months ago tomorrow was my 35<sup>th</sup> birthday.
And I marked it by starting a year long charity challenge. The deal was that
for the full year I had to stick to 35 items of clothing, for work for weddings
for everything else.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The last 10 months have been pretty eye opening- so if
you’re thinking of starting your own capsule challenge here’s a couple of
things I got wrong. Read on to benefit from my mistakes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<h3 style="text-align: center; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Capsule wardrobe success #1 Don’t wing it</span></h3>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I read all the blogs about planning your capsule wardrobe,
thinking about what goes with what and weighing up your different lifestyle
needs. And then I thought “screw it – I’m a creative person. It’ll be fine!”. I
worried I’d get bored if I chose everything and then had to live with it for a
full year. And potentially I would have – but I also probably wouldn’t have
panic bought half my wardrobe and ended up with <a href="http://clothesoffmybackchallenge.blogspot.co.uk/2015/11/colour-capsule-wardrobe.html">nearly everything being grey.</a> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you are doing this for a three month season,
go ahead plan and commit – if like me you’re doing it for longer I’d suggest
nailing down 80% of the years stuff outright – and saving yourself some treats
for later on. Planning means your stuff will go together – giving you more
options to be creative not less.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<h3 style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;">Capsule wardrobe success #2</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; text-indent: -18pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;">Buy good quality (or buy men's)</span></h3>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My clothes all look pretty tired now. 10 months in I’ve
resewn countless buttons, added insoles to all the shoes & had to replace 2
of the 5 pairs. I’ve strengthened seams in clothes that were starting to fall
apart. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Meanwhile my husband continues his own (oblivious) lifelong capsule
challenge, of owning 2 hoodies, a handful of t-shirts 2 pairs of jeans and a
suit for weddings and is doing just fine. <a href="http://clothesoffmybackchallenge.blogspot.co.uk/2015/08/why-flimsy-falling-apart-clothes-are.html">I wrote about why this is a feminist issue here</a>. But for now the lesson to learn is that quality matters, and that
if you’re unsure looking at men’s stuff might be the way to go. Or look
somewhere like Boden with their year-long guarantee on clothes that can make
you pretty confident they are going to last.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<h3 style="text-align: center; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Capsule wardrobe success #3 Learn to use your washing machine</span></h3>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Probably you already do. I didn’t. I’ve been accustomed to
losing maybe 20% of the clothes in each wash through “<a href="http://clothesoffmybackchallenge.blogspot.co.uk/2015/06/what-do-you-call-fear-of-washing.html">the washing machine lottery</a>”. If
you are living with less clothes - you can’t afford to do this, if you’ve done
any reading on the environmental impact of clothes production – you can’t
afford to do this, and if you want to be able to afford to buy ethically then
assuming you earn less than 6 figures - you can’t afford it either! </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Spend a
happy afternoon with a g&t and your washing machine manual. You won’t
regret it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<h3 style="text-align: center; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Capsule wardrobe success #4 Understand why you shop</span></h3>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I wrote about my emotional relationship with shopping <a href="http://clothesoffmybackchallenge.blogspot.co.uk/2015/07/emotional-shopping-and-capsule.html">here</a>
and <a href="http://clothesoffmybackchallenge.blogspot.co.uk/2015/08/what-does-way-i-shop-say-about-me.html">here</a>. This year I’ve gotten better and better at recognizing when I'm spending money to avoid thinking, and trying
to find other ways of dealing with the fallout. I really hadn’t expected any
emotional growth out of a year just wearing less clothes – but I got it. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So if you decide to drastically change your boundaries on what you can buy/ wear be aware it might be tricky. As with any
change in your life – be kind to yourself & give yourself space to think
about what’s really going on.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEil62LdwCnIv9bQKOW3uXBoOTg3dozwRIyN1LHY_Q_fNn6XfOZFOBAfI4pGL9W7F3fJQW0pO-WUbyHsmsOzWhBtRO12uv0bc8dGmsBZYDfBq24DlnjeGDyuKulEkFIvuQi1-lHK-UWuSyI/s1600/DSC_0982.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEil62LdwCnIv9bQKOW3uXBoOTg3dozwRIyN1LHY_Q_fNn6XfOZFOBAfI4pGL9W7F3fJQW0pO-WUbyHsmsOzWhBtRO12uv0bc8dGmsBZYDfBq24DlnjeGDyuKulEkFIvuQi1-lHK-UWuSyI/s320/DSC_0982.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me taking a moment to be kind to myself in the most beautiful place ever</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></o:p></div>
<h3 style="text-align: center; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Capsule wardrobe success #5<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span><!--[endif]-->You need more shoes than you think</span></h3>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I calculated 5 pairs for the year, sandals, heels, 2xboots
and trainers. The most worn of these by far were the sandals in the summer
& the black ankle boots in the winter. And both pairs died and had to be
replaced. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I’m still pretty annoyed that both pairs died at approximately the £1
a wear mark. That’s just not alright with me - it doesn't feel like good value at all. But I also think I need to
acknowledge the work that shoes put in. They literally carry the weight of your
body & often they are the difference between looking smart and scruffy. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If
I were doing this again I’d have 9 pairs of shoes in the capsule, and from now
on I’m investing a little more in shoes & getting the ones that have a
reputation for lasting longer. Fashion shoes are over for me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And finally….<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<h3 style="text-align: center; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> The Ultimate Capsule wardrobe success rule </span></h3>
<h3 style="text-align: center; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> - Only buy stuff you actually like!</span></h3>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This is another one that’s probably obvious to you. It wasn’t
to me.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> In the first couple of months I bought a fair few things to be
practical. A skirt that was meant to be a compromise between my smarter work
look and the super casual way I dress at home. It works for neither. A stripy
vest top that isn’t exactly a vest – looks a bit shit dressed up or down. I compromised my style in an attempt to make my clothes more versatile loads - <a href="http://clothesoffmybackchallenge.blogspot.co.uk/2015/12/it-is-possible-to-overthink-capsule.html">who remembers the palava with my winter coat?</a>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> So the simplest rule of all is to think about what you like to
wear. Not what you like to see other people wear. Not what looks lovely in a
shiny magazine. But the stuff you go back to time and time again and always
enjoy wearing. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Get those clothes out of the wardrobe. Really, really look
at them. What is it you like about them? Their colour? Their shape? Their
fabric? Write it down. That there – that’s your style – don’t compromise on it.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you are thinking of trying this good luck. It has really
changed the way I think about clothes, and now I’m in the final stretch (9
weeks to go!), I’m starting to think about next year. And next year I’ll be
taking my own advice!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Do you have any tips on living with less you’d like to
share? I’d love to hear them.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>I started this challenge to raise money and awareness for Contact a Family - who are fighting on behalf of the 65% of parents of disabled children who go without clothes for themselves in order to meet the additional costs of raising a Disabled child. 100,000 disabled children will be affected by the introduction of Universal Credit. Want to help Contact a Family keep fighting? <a href="https://www.justgiving.com/Elizabeth-Archer1">You can donate here.</a></i></span></div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10726402096024026570noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4535975625435869468.post-8213098948984407812016-03-08T10:06:00.001-08:002016-03-08T10:06:16.886-08:00Things about being a girl I don't want for my niece<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<h2 style="text-align: left;">
Happy International Women's Day</h2>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">This morning I saw two really strong images that have stuck
with me. The first was this<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXVmz8kneyWaP2ew716rroY1kEra7Ti1MhVJ3r-C4v5WqSsGKmIkr_a9MtWbof0YxcSSYr5Mnt3tZJPZ8o18Y5nYlnzlYbHR1wiSwr7L8vWOy8lRtVR674DhZ9cqazjhh8BgCEnlUU3NE/s1600/EY-IWD.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXVmz8kneyWaP2ew716rroY1kEra7Ti1MhVJ3r-C4v5WqSsGKmIkr_a9MtWbof0YxcSSYr5Mnt3tZJPZ8o18Y5nYlnzlYbHR1wiSwr7L8vWOy8lRtVR674DhZ9cqazjhh8BgCEnlUU3NE/s1600/EY-IWD.png" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The second was of my niece celebrating her 4<sup><span style="font-size: x-small;">th</span></sup> birthday
dressed as wonder woman.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Of course the juxta position between what I want for her
(everything), and for my great nieces, and the daughters of my friends, and
what that ticking down clock tells me they are likely to get is pretty
shocking. I want to believe that living as they do in a wealthy country that
their gender won’t make any difference to what they can achieve. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And relative to the rest of the world, my niece will be
doing alright in terms of the protections the law offers her. But here’s a
couple of gendered experiences I hope have disappeared by the time she’s a
teenager (but I fear won’t have):<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<h3 class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: left; text-indent: -18pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Being worried about what her career choices
(& habits) say about her as a woman<o:p></o:p></h3>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt 18pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I don’t want her to have to be an
ambassador for all women if she chooses to be a pilot or a firefighter. Neither
do I want people to assume she’s not a feminist if she’s a hairdresser or a
stay at home mum. I want her to be able to choose what makes her happy on her
own behalf without considering her gender – and I want that for boys too.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<h3 class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: left; text-indent: -18pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Being taught to equate being liked with being
mistreated<o:p></o:p></h3>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt 18pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Most women I know had to ‘grow
out’ of bad boys. Men who treated them with distain, bullies really. And is
this any wonder when little girls get told ‘it’s only because he likes you’
when they get teased or their hair pulled. We’re teaching girls to equate
disrespect with love. And that’s awful for everyone. At school I once heard a
girl say (about a delightful, and very straight guy), ‘I’m sorry he’s so lovely-
I’m sure he must be gay.’ WHAT!!! Let’s leave aside the weird assumption your
sexuality has any impact on how pleasant a human being you are, and consider
what she actually meant here. What she meant was – he’s so nice he can’t
possibly find me attractive, and anyway since he’s kind I don’t fancy him
either. What an awful thing to do to girls. What an awful thing to do to boys!
I want society to teach girls it’s ok to fancy boys who’ll be nice to them,
that’s not too much to ask is it?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<h3 class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: left; text-indent: -18pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Being sexualised without her consent, and when
she is too young to understand it.<o:p></o:p></h3>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt 18pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I don’t want her to get whistled
at from cars, to be approached on the street by men calling her baby. I don’t
want her to be told she should be flattered by the attention, or that she’ll
break a load of hearts when she grows up. I don’t want her to have to think
about what dressing comfortably in summer might make some men think about when
she is 12 (or 15 or 17 or 67 for that matter) years old. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<h3 class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: left; text-indent: -18pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Being taught about sex without being taught
about pleasure.<o:p></o:p></h3>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt 18pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Sex education in this country
starts with an erection and ends with ejaculation (I wish I could lay claim to
that phrase but I stole it off my mate Ester – <a href="https://www.brook.org.uk/our-work/good-sex-project#about">you can read her stuff here</a>).
Isn’t that awful – we get taught how to know if a man is turned on, but not whether
we are. I was in my 20’s before I worked out what really floated my boat (a
phrase that with better sex education we’d consider super filthy), and loads of
girls just assume their first time will be painful or unpleasant. Women have
sex with men who don’t turn them on all the time. And they do that because sex
education focuses on really liking someone and not how you can tell if you
physically fancy them. You can really really like someone and not want to have
sex with them – that’s called friendship – it’s awesome. You can really, really
want to have sex with someone but have no interest in being their friend – and that’s
fine too. One day hopefully you have a buddy that you want to have sex with –
that’s the ideal, but it’s not the only way.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<h3 class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: left; text-indent: -18pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Being defined by what she chooses to do with her
vagina<o:p></o:p></h3>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt 18pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">She won’t be frigid if she says
no to someone she doesn’t want to sleep with. Nor will she be a slut if she
says yes to someone she does. She’ll be herself and valuable for a million
other things. I’d be delighted if the rest of the world accepted that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<h3 class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: left; text-indent: -18pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Being offered male help (& feeling able to
accept it)<o:p></o:p></h3>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt 18pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I’ve been really lucky throughout
my career to have been mentored by some amazing and powerful women. I’ve also
been lucky to be mentored by some really fabulous men. And that can be more
unusual – not because there aren’t loads of guys out there who just want to
develop the brightest people regardless of their gender. But because there are
risks around the perception of why an older man would take a younger woman out
for a coffee to talk about their career that there simply aren’t for same sex
mentor/ mentee relationships. I’m lucky that the men who’ve taught me about
business planning, finance, about how it’s ok to get angry - but not so ok to
show it in meetings, these guys were brave enough, and sensible enough to
ignore what people might think and treat me the same as they would a young guy
with my potential and my faults. I don’t want my niece to have to worry that
her male co-workers have ulterior motives for helping her – or for those colleagues
not to offer her a hand for fear of how it’ll make them look. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I want her to be a brain at work, not an
ornament or liability.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<h3 class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: left; text-indent: -18pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Being told what a woman is (or a man for that
matter)<o:p></o:p></h3>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt 18pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Men who are direct are direct.
Women who are direct are bossy or bitches. Women who are sensitive to the
emotions of people around them are women, but men who react this way are soft.
It’s bollocks. If we can get away from ladylike, manning up, being a good girl
or a brave boy. If we could get to a place where all we had to be was ourselves
– the world would be a much better place, for my nieces, and my great nieces,
and for my nephews too.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
Let's keep working towards that shall we. Happy International Women's Day.<br />
<h2 style="text-align: left;">
</h2>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10726402096024026570noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4535975625435869468.post-64768572959894321782016-03-06T06:39:00.000-08:002016-03-06T06:39:51.262-08:00My problem with Mother's Day<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<h2 style="text-align: left;">
So today is Mother's Day</h2>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;">As a 35-year-old woman who’d love
to be a mum but isn’t it’s a weird day. Mother’s day for me this year is about
absence. Let’s leave aside the fact that online it feels like every day is mother’s
day, my Facebook feed is covered in smug memes telling me I don’t yet
understand love because as yet I’ve failed to push anything out my chuff. Let’s
also ignore that my own mother is out of the country so I’m not able to celebrate
with her either. That Mother’s day is something I’ll celebrate by proxy with my
mother in law.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I think the reason I don’t care for Mother’s day is that it
boils down a lifelong reciprocal relationship into one day a year. I’m not
bought into the idea that the way you celebrate Mother’s day reflects how well
loved you are, or how much you know about loving. </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9kEVspVhbwIVvPVt4yy4wH0ZoCnZHpKKR8dS24SfeqmgAC67AAzvWBCOwUxwrQCNaDI6K5OUgtJzjjn_IQXNMutkgvs7ohjRWdlWEZjCdPcep4zvTxIyHy-mAXMrQDIyQQqhRhSdjdr0/s1600/DSC_1135.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9kEVspVhbwIVvPVt4yy4wH0ZoCnZHpKKR8dS24SfeqmgAC67AAzvWBCOwUxwrQCNaDI6K5OUgtJzjjn_IQXNMutkgvs7ohjRWdlWEZjCdPcep4zvTxIyHy-mAXMrQDIyQQqhRhSdjdr0/s320/DSC_1135.JPG" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me & My Mum</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><o:p></o:p></span> </div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Mother’s day, is one of those times where we’re all supposed
to feel like we’re part of a club. Where we’re all united by our shared experience
of being mothered, or being a mother.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">One of those clubs I couldn’t be in if I tried. But I think
both are a bit of a con. They suggest that mothering or being mothered is a
universal experience, and I simply do not believe that is true. It is true that
I don’t know how it feels to be a mother, but my friends who have children
don’t know how it feels to parent each other’s children either. My experience
of loving my husband is different to their experiences of loving theirs. There
is no equivalency when you talk about love, it’s always different – it’s unique
because it has to be, a reflection of a relationship between two complex
individuals. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">My family is a perfect example of that. My mum loves us all
equally – but our relationships with her are as unique as we are.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Actually I take that back – she doesn’t love us all equally.
What a horrible trite phrase. Love is not measured in cups and ounces. I’ll
rephrase – she doesn’t love any of us more- or less than any of the others. She
loves us differently.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The measures of our love are different for myself and my
sisters for the rest of the year, for me it’s about how often I can get mum to
laugh at something she feels she shouldn’t, how often she comforts me by reminding me that time
passes and that when I look back I'll see things differently. I know that my sisters look at
different things, have their own in jokes and special memories. And yet this
one day a year we’re supposed to pick a generic card out of the rack and have
it express everything about our relationship, and it can’t. If even we as
sisters couldn't agree on one perfect card, then it has to be nonsense for
the rest of the world. </span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZMkKIRzrW4GS9clNgilmAu2m1o7oEx3WgJsPvnf_kkbiDYrFmI29FtfX0OMa27HS_fRozWJtTKj3ZAruGlpgwSp2Hgd3KYVhFV-sFH7gfE1ErxEoshZX7OABSWQOu8WrmdUY3GAzcsFM/s1600/DSC_1132.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZMkKIRzrW4GS9clNgilmAu2m1o7oEx3WgJsPvnf_kkbiDYrFmI29FtfX0OMa27HS_fRozWJtTKj3ZAruGlpgwSp2Hgd3KYVhFV-sFH7gfE1ErxEoshZX7OABSWQOu8WrmdUY3GAzcsFM/s400/DSC_1132.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We could probably agree that '90's fashions weren't that kind on any of us though....</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><o:p></o:p></span> </div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I won’t find a Mother’s day card that thanks my mum for
making my childhood magical in the particular way she did. Taking toys from my
bed when I was poorly, and replacing them before I woke with new clothes on.
Getting her friends to save those tiny margarine tubs Harvester used to give
out with baked potatoes so I had shoeboxes for my Sindy dolls. There is no mother’s
day card that says thank you for not killing me when I left my dirty hockey boots
in the airing cupboard all summer and they went mouldy. Nor is there one that
says I’m sorry for losing my bus pass constantly and nearly crippling your
finances with replacement costs. I think it’s unlikely I’ll find a card that
reflects our particular memories - being made to sit on tea towels so we didn’t
ruin the sofa, the time our puppy ate my friend’s wallet complete with the to –
die- for concert tickets it contained, when I belly flopped into the pool on
our first ever holiday abroad, or the next holiday we took on our own together
to Italy nearly 30 years later.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1JRoe3WQO8l1ekRKCUr-km0rbgm4f2sHXFmUsgLvCVU_JVgRkoTevu57d91bA0isptNSuoEAlEQDkIfd7IYXnRKbUu8dTXxyvbVIcgnGnLH0btjuIxPO3_e-WC8_QOilk9XWtxoX4_T4/s1600/DSC_1131.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1JRoe3WQO8l1ekRKCUr-km0rbgm4f2sHXFmUsgLvCVU_JVgRkoTevu57d91bA0isptNSuoEAlEQDkIfd7IYXnRKbUu8dTXxyvbVIcgnGnLH0btjuIxPO3_e-WC8_QOilk9XWtxoX4_T4/s320/DSC_1131.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My beautiful unique mum on my wedding day (no idea what my nephew is doing with his nose there)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">My relationship with my mother isn’t generic. And neither is
yours. The universal mother concept sentimentalises a relationship
that is huge, and scary and feral in its immediacy. You may have a great
relationship with your mother, you may have a terrible one – you may never have
met her. The one thing we all share is that we were grown inside a woman’s
body, and that probably our relationship (or lack of) with that woman has
shaped us profoundly. But this day where we reduce those mothers into identikit
cookie cutter benign princesses is insulting to them as unique individual
women. By all means let’s celebrate our relationships with our mothers. Celebrate
it today. But not with generic sentiment, and mass produced mother’s day tat.
Go do the stuff your Mum loves to do with her, make her laugh over the phone,
buy her a spanner if she’d prefer that to a ‘world’s best mum’ mug (who wouldn’t
really), or maybe make your own card – or write her a love letter. I just did. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">It costs three times
more to raise a disabled child. Too many disabled children live in poverty. Help <a href="https://www.justgiving.com/Elizabeth-Archer1">Contact a Family make a difference by donating here</a>. </span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<h2 style="text-align: left;">
</h2>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10726402096024026570noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4535975625435869468.post-49712883713912964482016-03-04T08:13:00.001-08:002016-03-04T08:13:39.666-08:00How to throw a clothes swap party<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<h2 align="center">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Clothes swapping is the most ethical way to be stylish</span></h2>
<div align="center">
</div>
<div align="left">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When I started this challenge more than nine months ago now I was worried I was alone. I thought that I was the only one who was finding the amount of stuff I owned stressful. I wrote blogs where I worried you'd think I was <a href="http://clothesoffmybackchallenge.blogspot.co.uk/2015/05/day-4-or-dont-judge-me.html">dirty for wearing the same clothes two days in a row</a>. I worried you'd think it was weird that <a href="http://clothesoffmybackchallenge.blogspot.co.uk/2015/06/second-hand-is-grand-most-of-time.html">my sisters and I had swapped bras</a>.</span></div>
<div align="left">
</div>
<div align="left">
</div>
<div align="left">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">I was so wrong. So many of you got in touch to talk about how much you enjoyed getting rid of your stuff, how you were finding ways to live with less and how satisfying you found it to limit your impact on the planet by buying second hand.</span></div>
<div align="left">
</div>
<div align="left">
</div>
<div align="left">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">So last month when I invited you to attend a clothes swapping event to help me raise cash for Contact a Family- I thought a couple of you might turn up. And again you astounded me when 80 of you bought tickets!</span></div>
<div align="left">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"></span> </div>
<div align="left">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">I think we showed that clothes swaps don't need to feel like jumble sales - that they can be super classy events where people can leave with stuff they'll treasure. Here's a couple of tips on how to get it done.</span></div>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Start with a good reserve of clothes.</span></div>
</li>
</ul>
<div align="left">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">We asked people to bring between 3 and 6 items each. We wanted to be sure that no one was left without choice - so between us me, Bella and a couple of our friends donated a good stock of clothes to start with.</span></div>
<div align="left">
</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLWd6AGUYByKQAXruembCM2Q2zyyx36F7c87uThodrKseUd19fZfauvwL5Ehcj58drMTDnnFUyRX37gE6HlHh6QqPQC6B9VaodyGodnFtwwSynO5oYt2kLPtB6CJx1ZOo2ajdL1hszZxA/s1600/Bellas+clothes+swap+party-6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLWd6AGUYByKQAXruembCM2Q2zyyx36F7c87uThodrKseUd19fZfauvwL5Ehcj58drMTDnnFUyRX37gE6HlHh6QqPQC6B9VaodyGodnFtwwSynO5oYt2kLPtB6CJx1ZOo2ajdL1hszZxA/s400/Bellas+clothes+swap+party-6.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This skirt was one of the bits I donated.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgO2h8RB4GaMlfwVEKTqlNG15SS42Z84r1XL5A3JxJuOIr-BKTqSLxI2w8IIaisjxr-LEC_6mTfgK7ysr5oS4nkDkWHBDJy7Wnkn1zYMGyd_dJkjVlBFGenHZzUZ3aY5N4vQ3OFwk4rIKI/s1600/Bellas+clothes+swap+party-27.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgO2h8RB4GaMlfwVEKTqlNG15SS42Z84r1XL5A3JxJuOIr-BKTqSLxI2w8IIaisjxr-LEC_6mTfgK7ysr5oS4nkDkWHBDJy7Wnkn1zYMGyd_dJkjVlBFGenHZzUZ3aY5N4vQ3OFwk4rIKI/s400/Bellas+clothes+swap+party-27.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">and that pineapple dress.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Work out how you are going to manage the swap. </span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: Arial;">We sorted stuff as people came in so we knew how many items people brought in. We also put the really special stuff aside on a separate rail and made sure that people who brought along super lovely bits got first dibs on taking something lush home.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigegeC5Cw5M_REOyRrEYJ-Ca6xJCrI6_9DND5rAesr2cCt9G86Vm2iNqytG1Y8t9Q80ucuMFqriPz9N0gVlXZq89T-BiQQa0oVqwG9bJleMB-haDCYwwI8B8d7zp3phpoQpNpEB4LaFIA/s1600/Bellas+clothes+swap+party-40.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigegeC5Cw5M_REOyRrEYJ-Ca6xJCrI6_9DND5rAesr2cCt9G86Vm2iNqytG1Y8t9Q80ucuMFqriPz9N0gVlXZq89T-BiQQa0oVqwG9bJleMB-haDCYwwI8B8d7zp3phpoQpNpEB4LaFIA/s640/Bellas+clothes+swap+party-40.jpg" width="426" /></a></div>
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<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Display stuff nicely</span></div>
</li>
</ul>
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</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Everything looks nicer when it's nicely folded or hung right? We were really lucky to have the secret garden in Shoreditch House as our venue. But it also helped that we bought baskets, trays and hangers from home to sort things in. We also put similar stuff together so people found it easier to find what they were looking for.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1fQUyY94CeIYx9b-uJ5mLKsNzzX-XjX-4NvTemjU-11ejlFIJFMKLZN8hQZ_TCTQuhKeJOM1-cWWqKMe7nevDGvf3bR6tbh9NdO-M-4QOMThkBFdjLRPf9s2TEingfHTGhcKZRX1Pujc/s1600/Bellas+clothes+swap+party-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1fQUyY94CeIYx9b-uJ5mLKsNzzX-XjX-4NvTemjU-11ejlFIJFMKLZN8hQZ_TCTQuhKeJOM1-cWWqKMe7nevDGvf3bR6tbh9NdO-M-4QOMThkBFdjLRPf9s2TEingfHTGhcKZRX1Pujc/s320/Bellas+clothes+swap+party-1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxvC0hR85DhZAiZq7I7zltrIkEhCZud3xl13QOoYW2NQkSFUth5i4yicqANjM8XPcED6m1JCbtuOUR3_189Jhyphenhyphenj3xr6ZFgS7922h8dvR48XkCgXoXIFZPFourRd-MWnbF5zy9dxkPMlio/s1600/Bellas+clothes+swap+party-3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxvC0hR85DhZAiZq7I7zltrIkEhCZud3xl13QOoYW2NQkSFUth5i4yicqANjM8XPcED6m1JCbtuOUR3_189Jhyphenhyphenj3xr6ZFgS7922h8dvR48XkCgXoXIFZPFourRd-MWnbF5zy9dxkPMlio/s320/Bellas+clothes+swap+party-3.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Give people time to rummage</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Self evident - this one. No-one likes to be rushed.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVJfn13AWkOV4VBprSwN0A1pRPpsCVXjDO6xznSTa4R_dExhbd8VTreHVLHzgxDlwldfx-yRPC5CS8Z9YK-ToyU75mhIcEzojG2nxyLoV1XW91rFUSfG02Z4AntYWhnbOibvfByM4cDlY/s1600/Bellas+clothes+swap+party-90.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVJfn13AWkOV4VBprSwN0A1pRPpsCVXjDO6xznSTa4R_dExhbd8VTreHVLHzgxDlwldfx-yRPC5CS8Z9YK-ToyU75mhIcEzojG2nxyLoV1XW91rFUSfG02Z4AntYWhnbOibvfByM4cDlY/s320/Bellas+clothes+swap+party-90.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li> <span style="font-family: Arial;">Think about where people are going to try things on</span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Some of our friends were really happy just trying things on in public. But there was a changing space for people who were more shy. If you are doing this at home it's something to think about.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAmK9oVGIA5ln8q-yontPD6SBMxaEcJRQvkD5zcx1Tv8-IWNjYrO6atiA128MIP1bVDgLixM6aRq-wt5dsbLfRBA_Zzi5VwANrCLIrYZXm8lkVWwYrng1FHefk1H8sbePfEgvzkWcnEBQ/s1600/Bellas+clothes+swap+party-117.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAmK9oVGIA5ln8q-yontPD6SBMxaEcJRQvkD5zcx1Tv8-IWNjYrO6atiA128MIP1bVDgLixM6aRq-wt5dsbLfRBA_Zzi5VwANrCLIrYZXm8lkVWwYrng1FHefk1H8sbePfEgvzkWcnEBQ/s320/Bellas+clothes+swap+party-117.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrPHyPzNjizZhkuplzkJ7q15Ytz_Yu03qGDFScC6MCx-PmBW0eXj0jUSm9RKivxoArHg1bMFfiO_6-LA45OyWpVKwKYD3FUIoM0mXEIRsUNve4Lquyy-lUP9VYqIvEH6HEDYjpTDfgVts/s1600/Bellas+clothes+swap+party-116.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrPHyPzNjizZhkuplzkJ7q15Ytz_Yu03qGDFScC6MCx-PmBW0eXj0jUSm9RKivxoArHg1bMFfiO_6-LA45OyWpVKwKYD3FUIoM0mXEIRsUNve4Lquyy-lUP9VYqIvEH6HEDYjpTDfgVts/s320/Bellas+clothes+swap+party-116.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
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<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Tell people they look great when they find something they love!</span></li>
</ul>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAvw3mgVHEzyXy4hv5HRfHRbe4CSj5120KzScRrjCmJYW9M-sm0h13CQeRUzivn9E12qC3Od3OogRmUemwLtH0HDPfs4PV4mKsQai6P409mxEmbudijSPyfIGGgN5wrsryp-EH9nwUO5o/s1600/Bellas+clothes+swap+party-134.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAvw3mgVHEzyXy4hv5HRfHRbe4CSj5120KzScRrjCmJYW9M-sm0h13CQeRUzivn9E12qC3Od3OogRmUemwLtH0HDPfs4PV4mKsQai6P409mxEmbudijSPyfIGGgN5wrsryp-EH9nwUO5o/s320/Bellas+clothes+swap+party-134.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you fancy running your own clothes party Contact a Family can help & you can feel doubly good because you're raising money for a great cause. <a href="http://www.cafamily.org.uk/get-involved/fundraising/join-our-contact-collective-young-philanthropy-network/">Get in touch here</a> if you need a hand.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"></span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Thanks to everyone who came particular thanks are due to:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"></span> </div>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"> My partner in crime Bella for her organisational genius. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIHejQGLSx15T8KQi1-pIxSafBduqbnHfrhV4ibQ2x4zpnnOxibmkCXkRlhY9G933CzwH5DON2PA-9LtqBIxjcz_3cX5VhdrKs_VEAyIyhPlCBbm77ovGelGRIuv3PlmqpX19UWKqF3bU/s1600/Bellas+clothes+swap+party-75.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIHejQGLSx15T8KQi1-pIxSafBduqbnHfrhV4ibQ2x4zpnnOxibmkCXkRlhY9G933CzwH5DON2PA-9LtqBIxjcz_3cX5VhdrKs_VEAyIyhPlCBbm77ovGelGRIuv3PlmqpX19UWKqF3bU/s320/Bellas+clothes+swap+party-75.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me & Bella stood on a table (no change there)</td></tr>
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</span></div>
</li>
<li><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">The fab Charlotte Dawe for getting us the room </span></div>
</li>
</ul>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoeatp9RGfZk6gm6j6KkL_hi7RvNmGABKof1C82B6zLVwaLCsmTnpw-C1BYYuX8n6hDp22iLYRUrqNJuSUN6EOv_gBnm0yCdce6WOlcO7ipVGZb_m3uX6MOsS7kXZns7r8TXRIymTJ-yU/s1600/Bellas+clothes+swap+party-15.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoeatp9RGfZk6gm6j6KkL_hi7RvNmGABKof1C82B6zLVwaLCsmTnpw-C1BYYuX8n6hDp22iLYRUrqNJuSUN6EOv_gBnm0yCdce6WOlcO7ipVGZb_m3uX6MOsS7kXZns7r8TXRIymTJ-yU/s320/Bellas+clothes+swap+party-15.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ms Dawe is the fox in the mustard cardi</td></tr>
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</span></div>
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<li><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">and our lovely photographer - who took all these shots for free. <a href="http://www.facebook.com/DodoPhotographyLondon">Here's her facebook page.</a></span></div>
</li>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10726402096024026570noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4535975625435869468.post-36101195984177780322016-02-25T11:31:00.001-08:002016-02-25T11:31:15.834-08:00That time I slept in a monkey cage..<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So as you know I just got back from India. While I was there
I didn’t post much so over the next couple of weeks I’ll post some snippets as
catch ups – this one is one of my favourites.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It took us a long time to get to Varanasi, we stopped over
at Amsterdam and Delhi on the way. We had anticipated a 6 hour turnaround in
Delhi, which turned into 8, then nine. As a result when we eventually got to
Varanasi we were pretty tired and because we’d intended the trip to be an
adventure we hadn’t booked anywhere to stay. Ange had been to Varanasi before,
5 years ago and remembered that the hostel she’d stayed in had a nice dog. And
on that tenuous basis we ambled into Varanasi’s backstreets to try and get a
room there for the night.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieeK4_PPDObvdZkDS83hylCoa_i2OUJcPZHypI9lJ-lUNsQHSw594bDW2E3NktBrGmxqtg-s9XXJIsmUfo0rXMaBYRZuNBUD_VUcOjmIWpBXCCQ82nGepwWkZqHjohfO7ulsshjTJPH1I/s1600/DSC_0008.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieeK4_PPDObvdZkDS83hylCoa_i2OUJcPZHypI9lJ-lUNsQHSw594bDW2E3NktBrGmxqtg-s9XXJIsmUfo0rXMaBYRZuNBUD_VUcOjmIWpBXCCQ82nGepwWkZqHjohfO7ulsshjTJPH1I/s400/DSC_0008.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">veiw of the galis from our hostel's roof</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If you’ve never been to Varanasi, some description may be
useful here. Most of the photos you’ll see are of the Ghat’s down by the river –
and boy is it beautiful there. Heading away from the river are a labyrinth of ‘galis’
which are streets far too narrow for cars. These galis make up the old town where 1,000’s
of locals, tourists, monkeys, goats and cows make their home. Space is at a
premium in Varanasi so people have added floors apon floors to their homes, to
cram in rooms for tourists, shops and bakeries, so when you walk through the
galis you may see cracks of sky but you are almost always in shade. And all of
those thousands of people and animals are out in the streets, packs of dogs
barking and playing, cows blocking off exits and goats mating and wrestling or
taking a nap, and then there are the corpses, covered in fabric and tinsel,
held aloft and followed by chanting loved ones on their way to the ghats to be
burnt. What I’m saying is – it’s a lot. And if you love India – which I really
truly do – then what you come to India to find is here in all its glory.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But also – I grew up in Milton Keynes with it’s clear and
ordered grid system, and I’m dyspraxic. I have neither the experience nor the
skill to navigate my way through this warren. Ange is better, but there aren’t
any signs except the odd advert painted on a wall – so it takes a while to find
our way to the hostel.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And when we finally arrive they tell us they are full.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And then they reconsider. They say they might have a room – if we are happy to sit down
& play with the dog while they make it ready.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So we sat, we played with Lucky, we waited and after 10
minutes we were shown to our room. Which was basically a cage with curtains on
the roof. Now I know I’ve been known to exaggerate in my time so I took a photo
as proof.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipkD7LvbnC_4xInWpsyaZU7smFLYptsVY8CyF-kffYtC_SI2C0-h8n0iy070w7lOgPnO6FW_gXYJKlUmgwIgApIZry_DG5W2CNsL31OfaFbDn104WD_RQnX5Kab7n2zvg80GJJmZ8lUrw/s1600/DSC_0004.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipkD7LvbnC_4xInWpsyaZU7smFLYptsVY8CyF-kffYtC_SI2C0-h8n0iy070w7lOgPnO6FW_gXYJKlUmgwIgApIZry_DG5W2CNsL31OfaFbDn104WD_RQnX5Kab7n2zvg80GJJmZ8lUrw/s640/DSC_0004.JPG" width="426" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">See. That is a cage on a roof. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It speaks volumes about how tired Ange and I were that we
had agreed to rent it and were in bed within 5 minutes of seeing it. Our only
query was wether there was any chance monkeys could get in. We were told no –
they couldn’t and what’s more they didn’t come onto this part of the roof
because the dog chased them away.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So we cleaned our teeth, let ourselves into the cage and
fell immediately asleep.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I don’t know how much later I got woken by Ange. I do know she
was holding the curtain open with one hand and pointing with the other. “look
there is a huge monkey just sat there looking at us”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">My reaction? I said something unhelpful along the lines of “Just
close the curtain and you won’t be able to see it” and then passed out again (in
my defense I really was very tired).</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The noise that woke me next was loud, close and confusing.
Ange and I sat bolt upright, and looked at each other. “That’s monkeys, lots of
them”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">“Yep”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">“And they are climbing all over the cage”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">“Yep”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">“But they can’t get in right?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">“Um.... well the guys said so, and someone normally sleeps in
here. So I guess not…”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">My water bottle falls to the floor – as I look over to see
what made it happen I spot a tiny baby monkey, the kind I think is adorable
when it’s not trying to get into my bedroom, has already forced it’s arm and
shoulder into the room and it’s making a pretty good job of trying to push it’s
head in.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">“We should get someone”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And we start shouting loudly, for the guys that work in the
hostel, for the dog that lives there, for anyone to come help us. Because no
matter how cute that monkey looks –we do not want to be trapped in a cage with
it. Particularly when it’s mum, dad, aunty and a collection of second cousins
are going to want to come in after it.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We hear a clattering outside and the monkeys scatter onto
other rooftops. The guys from the hosteI shouted that they’d gone. I ran to the
loo (mild peril always activates my bladder). When I came back I asked Ange
what they’d said and she gestured to the bed. “they left us that” A catapult
and some marbles.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I genuinely thought I was hallucinating “What is it?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">“It’s a catapult Ed”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">“That’s what I thought. Why is it here? “</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">“So we can scare away the Monkeys when they come back”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I chose to ignore the ‘when’ and followed up on the tools we’d
been issued instead: “But I don’t know how to use one of those Ange, I’m
dyspraxic, I’d probably do myself more harm than I would any Monkeys”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">“I know Ed – you would actually blind one of us”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">“And what about when we’re asleep?"</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">“I know – we don’t need a sodding catapault. We need a new
room”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Which is how we ended up spending our first night in India
in the basement.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif";"><i>Normally
this blog is about living with less. I started it to raise awareness
about families of disabled children living in poverty</i>. <i>You can find out about my challenge <a href="http://clothesoffmybackchallenge.blogspot.co.uk/2015/05/the-birth-of-clothes-off-my-back.html"><u>here</u></a> and donate to make a difference<a href="https://www.justgiving.com/Elizabeth-Archer1"><u> here</u></a></i> </span>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10726402096024026570noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4535975625435869468.post-18494668980003767352016-02-21T03:09:00.002-08:002016-02-21T03:09:53.003-08:00A break from photos<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">You’ll have noticed less photos of me over on <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I</span>nstagram recently, and I
thought I’d let you know why.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-zFqCJKCrrJy9wU7ZwrLU1trZ6xNaymm_lxAtymNoLRYwzUuqzp6NE4J4LpNKGw14iPWQQPCZkg0FnChLmHCaQFZXc9I4NzCYgOvof03AwQa1taAfHy8yzsltwc-IN4izm4IpRchycr0/s1600/DSC_0299.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-zFqCJKCrrJy9wU7ZwrLU1trZ6xNaymm_lxAtymNoLRYwzUuqzp6NE4J4LpNKGw14iPWQQPCZkg0FnChLmHCaQFZXc9I4NzCYgOvof03AwQa1taAfHy8yzsltwc-IN4izm4IpRchycr0/s320/DSC_0299.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Go ahead - have a little break from my face</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I’ve been really honest from the beginning of this challenge
how much I hate having my photo taken. And I very much still do.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So having my photo taken every day has been an actual
painful chore. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">One of the reasons for this is because it's so unusual for me, as I’ve never really been that engaged in the way I look. I
know that sounds really weird for someone who really really loves clothes, but
it’s true. For me there is a fundamental difference between caring about what <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">my</span> style communicates and seeking to glorify/ mitigate the genetic accident that is my features. My face looks the way it looks, it'd be a horrible waste of time to try and make it look any different.</span><br />
<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I want to be clear I don't hate, or even dislike my face - I'm just not very interested in it. It has the normal number and placings of features - I look look neither astoundingly beautiful nor appallingly hideous. My face does what it is supposed to, and I'm fine with that. I make the best of it with some tinted moisturiser and some bronzer on work days - but have never engaged in faffing with 'sculpting' makeup to give me the appearance of cheekbones or whatever - simply because I can't see what difference it could possibly make to my life.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I think that my attitude to my face is pretty healthy - and I think my sense of perspective has been aided by always having some very pretty girls as friends. There
has literally never been a time in my life when I’ve been the prettiest girl in
the room and actually that has really worked for me. This is not an area in my life where I can try really hard and somehow make a huge impact. I’ve never been the girl who
spends hours on make up or hair because I’ve always looked around me and
thought – what’s the point – that’s never going to be my thing.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I’m not saying that in a woe is me way – it doesn’t worry me
at all. In fact I've watched some of my gorgeous friends have their intellect under valued, being disliked by other women, and just being aggressively pursued in the supermarket and in doctors surgeries (places where I think we can agree no-one goes looking for a date) purely as a result of their looks - so I know knock down beauty isn't an out and out gift. It can be a bloody pain too.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And I also know that once we are past our painful teenage years that our facial features are far from the headlines of our attractiveness. I don't worry that my husband will desert me for a prettier face, or that if he did do something so foolish that I'd be alone forever.I know I’m funny, I know my energy, fierceness and enthusiasm is pretty
attractive and that for a particular type of man I am <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">exa<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">ctly how they like their tea (and breakfast and dinner...).</span></span> So as an adult
I’ve never equated my value to anyone with the way I look. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So I never really thought about my face, never considered it, never spent hours in front of the mirror examining it, never took endless selfies to show the best side of myself. My considered opinion on all that nonsense? Bollocks to it!<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span>Until this year, when I’ve had my photo taken every day. And
every day I’ve had to look at photos of my face. And they don’t really match my
idea of myself. I always look sad in photos, or like I’m grimacing. And it's not even about that - it's that I feel like the more I see images of myself - the more my sense of self is about those images rather than what I'm feeling and experiencing. Those photos and the need to look at them are affecting my sense of self. And I don't like it.</span><br />
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0KLyXjS5JxHL1t68HZtaT14ILJ2cPIutpgYnHLKNuE4kF7j5K5F3OnEr74Nogehfg4rLnaManixEdfOAEOCouNa96lhw2od090cDdAr4ffPxdXEydOPuCSOIhEdPTmckoCyX7_8q0PFc/s1600/DSC_0044.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0KLyXjS5JxHL1t68HZtaT14ILJ2cPIutpgYnHLKNuE4kF7j5K5F3OnEr74Nogehfg4rLnaManixEdfOAEOCouNa96lhw2od090cDdAr4ffPxdXEydOPuCSOIhEdPTmckoCyX7_8q0PFc/s320/DSC_0044.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Varanasi was beautiful. And my memories about it have nothing to <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">do wi<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">th how I looked..</span></span></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I'm so glad I grew up when I did. When you took a photo <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">then</span> had to wait weeks for it to be developed. When peoples voices, the way they sounded on the phone, the letters and postcards they wrote and mixtapes they put together where what formed your depth of impressions of them when you were apart. We didn't have the option of looking someone up and seeing an image of their face when we missed them. I genuinely worry what my teenage years would be like if I lived them now. If all those friends I made who loved me because I danced with sheer abandon were greeted with what that looked like in stills the next day. Worse if I was. Because in my head all of that fun and energy shone out of me and made me a<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> magnet for fun</span> (& I really think it did), but the photo lens isn't going to get that - or at least hardly ever. And I think my fragile emerging teenage self might have lost some of her bravery and her arrogance if she was presented with all these two dimensional images of herself, that had no room for her silliness, or the sound of her laugh. My teenage years are documented in photos yes, but also in poems, and stories written between friends, in stolen jumpers, and swapped treasures and none of it is online - which means I've been able to curate this collection to tell the stories that are healthy for me to remember, and leave behind the ones that I shouldn't. And I think that has been healthy for me.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So knowing this why would my 35 year old self choose to document every day of this year with a photo of myself<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">?</span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> Why would I post a photo of me
knackered and pale and resentfully posing in my front room every day<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">?</span> Photos that are taken when I
get in from work, at that point in the day when really I just want to talk to
Matt, change into my dressing gown and then snuggle up with the
dog.What purpose does this serve? </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">My Instagram feed these days – yuck.It used to be photos of my dog, my friends & weird and wonderful London sights - now it is an unrelent<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">ing</span> wall of me. Is that how I want to remember my 35th year - by how I looked everyday? I think not. It’s so self
regarding and so SO not who I am. But I’ve kept it up because it felt like part
of the deal of this whole capsule experiment.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEz2Bvc6bawuSf31rI4C6q94FMsqLi6FtXwhvtto7KwGzXn5dLS1RMBsuKmPUmR7T9F7WrDISfSENZL6jpkyNSgHS_YfpF0MTNcSsH1o8PkQxPFd8qo8g2tQytZ_eyNQdKBzO7Wrq7-M8/s1600/DSC_0265.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEz2Bvc6bawuSf31rI4C6q94FMsqLi6FtXwhvtto7KwGzXn5dLS1RMBsuKmPUmR7T9F7WrDISfSENZL6jpkyNSgHS_YfpF0MTNcSsH1o8PkQxPFd8qo8g2tQytZ_eyNQdKBzO7Wrq7-M8/s320/DSC_0265.JPG" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">You can see how little I wanted this snap taken yes?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">While Ange and I were away we stayed for a couple
of days in Amma’s ashram. And photography isn’t allowed there, and there are no
mirrors in the rooms. So for three days I got a break from my face. I got a
break from awkwardly posing for photos whilst hating myself for doing it, and
break from worrying what you guys thought of the photos when I put them up.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And I liked it so much I’m sticking with it. There will
still be some photos – to demonstrate how I manage changes in the weather, or
big occasions – to introduce you to my final 3 items & if I come up with a
new way of wearing something. But that is it. You’ll kind of have to trust me.
I am going to stick with this (I’m too bloody minded not to), but I’m not going
to undo all the good this experiment has done me in terms of changing the way I
think – by letting those teeny tiny claws of self hatred grab a hold of me
every evening as I pose for a photo.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But</span> if you do want to see photos from a woman with a real sense of who she is beyond what she looks like I would urge you to <span style="color: blue;"><a href="http://www.marieclaire.co.uk/blogs/551872/worst-photos-on-instagram-the-badportraits-campaign.html">read this from Julie Kirk</a> <span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">she's pretty awesome.</span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In other news - there are still a couple of tickets left for tomorrows clothes swa<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">p - you can <a href="https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/clothes-swap-party-tickets-21255423544">read about it<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> and </span>book tickets</a></span></span><a href="https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/clothes-swap-party-tickets-21255423544"> </a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/clothes-swap-party-tickets-21255423544">here</a>. And if you want to<a href="https://www.justgiving.com/Elizabeth-Archer1"> donate</a> - that's cool too (tomorrow I'll be 9 months in!!!!)</span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If you want to hear me banging on more about capsule fashion, Katrina from <a href="https://medium.com/style-soul-story/35-items-of-clothes-1-year-could-you-dd94f099b2e3#.77yy11g3x">Soul, Style, Story interviewed me </a>earlier in the week. If I were you I'd head <a href="https://medium.com/style-soul-story/can-a-fashion-app-change-the-world-707d2149f987#.xr129q3hz">here on her</a> site where they talk about an app that will (I hope) change the way we shop <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">for the better.....</span> </span></span></span> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></span></div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10726402096024026570noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4535975625435869468.post-66010517998414011882016-02-15T09:31:00.000-08:002016-02-15T09:31:10.868-08:00In defence of primal screaming<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Firstly let’s acknowledge how unlikely that post title is
for me. I mean come on - primal screaming? This from a girl who refused to do
yoga for literally YEARS because it was just ‘competitive bending’. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s a bit worrying isn’t it? Am I going to
turn into one of those lightweight post travelling spiritual types who can’t
resist telling everyone about their ‘awakening’ at some full moon chanting
session? Well no – I think I can assure you that is not on the cards. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This is just a story about how I found myself screaming on a
bus.</span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So Ange and I couldn’t get on the train we wanted to in
order to do the first leg from Ooty to Munnar. <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Which meant that rather than a little tootle on a minature railway</span> we had to drag ourselves up a<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">t 5am</span> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">to undertake</span> a 14 hour epic journey taking us on 4 buses. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In all honesty I anticipated the journey being</span> hellish – but actually it was kind of beautiful. The journey
takes you through tea country and dusty plains and is absolutely gorgeous. Plus
the changes every 4 hours or so were great for grabbing street food.<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> And as an added bonus <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">this was the sig<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">n for the pay and go toilets at one of the bus stations.</span></span></span></span></div>
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<br /><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I like to think that Jennifer Lawrence used this toilet on the way through India and gamely agreed for her face to be used to advertise this really, very grim, facilit<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">y - but I suspect the truth of the matter is quite different<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">. Worryingly<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> the guy taking the money at this loo st<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">op also asked to take my photo on the way out - so if anyone sees my face advertising a toilet somewhere in the world please let me know. ( I worry about how deeply unhygenic a loo with my face on it would be given the unsanitary standards o<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">f J<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Laws - in fact if you see a toilet <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">sign feat<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">uring my face, I have not endorsed it - do not enter....)</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">12 hours into the journey<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> o</span>ur bus pulled into a station and the driver announced there was a 10 minute
stopover. So Ange and 2 or 3 other people hopped off the bus to go to the loo.
And then the others got back on the bus maybe 3 minutes later and the bus
started to move.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And Ange wasn’t on the bus. Her bag, her purse, her
passport, her phone – they were on the bus. But Ange herself? Nope.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So initially I<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> was</span> very British about this – I called to the
driver “<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">E</span>xcuse me! <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Y</span>ou said 10 minutes, my friend isn’t back…” and he ignore<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">d</span>
me. The bus continue<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">d</span> to move. At which point I los<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">t</span> my words and (just a
little bit) my shit. Because I c<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">ouldn</span>’t let the bus leave without Ange. </span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">At this point</span> I screamed. Not words – this <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">wa</span>sn’t me shouting the word <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“stop” or something logical like that. The
noise that c<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">a</span>me out of my mouth at great volume sounds approximately like “AAAAAAAAARRGGH”.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And it worked. Sort of.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In that the bus driver stop<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">ped</span> – and with great irritation
mime<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">d</span> that he was just moving <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>parking
spaces, and everyone else on the bus laughs their arse off at the stupid, feral
Englishwoman.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And it did feel a bit feral, to have lost my ability to
communicate anything but pure base emotions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But there was a weird massive rush of endorphins immediately afterwards
too. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It stuck with me for days – the relief at just having
completely expressed myself in a way that would be understood in any language. So
maybe there is something in occasionally just roaring whether with anger or
with laughter – rather than always, always finessing our feelings into
acceptable, manageable words. I might try it more often – though maybe next
time in the privacy of my own home …..</span></div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10726402096024026570noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4535975625435869468.post-12965269177521850882016-02-12T09:41:00.000-08:002016-02-12T09:41:26.097-08:00Thinking less is good for you<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Remember how every September when we started a new school
year everyone seemed so much older than they did in the summer? There’d always
be a couple of new kids, someone would have changed their haircut, discovered a
new band, at least 3 people would claim to have had a romance with someone too
far away to fact check and everyone would somehow be just a tiny bit different,
a tiny bit cooler.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Well I just took the adult version of a summer break, and
there are some real similarities.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It was more than 6 months ago that I decided that I
needed to take some time away from my real life to think about what I wanted to
do next. I wanted to be sure I was making active decisions rather than just taking
the obvious next <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>step in my career. It
seemed to make sense to do this just after Christmas, both to extend the time I
spent away from my daily routine, and to ensure I spent some quality time with
my husband before disappearing off to another continent without him.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">So on December 21<sup>st</sup> I ‘broke up’ for
Christmas, and last Monday the 8<sup>th</sup> February I returned to work.
Nearly exactly 7 weeks, so have I changed in that time?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Well one thing certainly has, I noticed about 3 weeks in that I was thinking less. And by this I mean that my mind was focused on what was in front of me, what was happening in that moment. And that felt calming. The most fundamental difference was that I stopped thinking about work in
the shower, or when I was walking the dog (it didn’t hurt that we didn’t take
the dog to India and I only had access to 1 hot shower the whole trip!). I’ve
always known that my breakthroughs on gritty problems don’t tend to happen in
front of a computer, but instead when I’m pondering them in a relaxed
environment, so I suppose that at some point I'd conciously or not given myself permission to give over portions of my home time to thinking about work. I know I've cheerfully practiced talks I'm giving, or mentally reworded documents whilst washing my hair loads over the last few years but until I stopped I don’t think I’d realised was the extent to which I’d annexed almost all of my ‘relaxing’
times to mentally review work stuff.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Now that I have noticed it. I realise that when I'm not thinking about work, I'm thinking about things I 'ought' to be doing with my time, and my money. And when I'm not doing this I'm writing lists of people I owe visits to or presents I need to buy. It's exhausting all this thinking and it's stopped me from noticing what's going on around me.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When I planned my leave I did an
exhaustive handover and I am so glad I did. It meant I knew that there was nothing I could do about work while I was
away – and this freed up my brain to do other stuff – I designed chutney
labels, doodled a new tattoo design, and was actually fully present when seeing some of the gorgeous views that India had to offer. I actually saw what was in front of me, it was weird, as if I suddenly had much thinner skin. It's like my lists and my thinking are a pair of thick winter gloves I'd gotten so used to I'd forgotten I was wearing them. And now that I've taken them off I can feel EVERYTHING. It's amazing.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I’d set myself the task of thinking about my future whilst I was away. I think I’d imagined
that this would be a tactical piece of work – plotting a course that would
allow me to achieve something notable. And because I wasn't drowning in thoughts it wasn’t like that at all.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Both the time I spent at home over Christmas, and my time
in India freed me up to remember some pretty fundamental things about myself. Like what it is I enjoy, and
what it is I value. And it turns out those things are pretty basic – I like to
cook, I like to write, I like curling up in a comfy chair with a good book,
looking out of train windows at the view, spending time outdoors, and being
with people I love and trust in small groups and intimate settings. I love my
dog, and my husband and my home, and I love on occasion being somewhere as
different from that as possible.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">And having these things is really possible for me, easy in
fact. I don’t need a 5 year plan, a strategy or tactics. All I need is to be
present in my own life – so I notice how bloody lucky I am. So deciding what to
do next has become less about my career and more about my life – which is
actually pretty amazing.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">So I’m back at work now, with a month to go till I leave
for good and when I look around me at new work opportunities I realise that
having this new perspective has helped me make decisions about work that I
never would have been brave enough to before. It’s still really important to me
that what I do is meaningful, but commiting only to what is achievable within a (healthly) working week
is important too, as is the opportunity to work closely alongside people as
part of a larger team. And money – well as long as I can pay my mortgage money
really isn’t important – after all walking the dog with a friend is free!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">So I haven’t come back to school with a new haircut, I
haven’t discovered a new band, or had a ficticious relationship with someone in
a band while I was away. But I am subtly different, a little calmer, a little
more focused on what’ll make me happy. A bit cooler perhaps – and really
excited about 2016! </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7FU0bT4m1fXe6aukGKXk4jGUSc0JzFOhBqq4spE0KSq79-RNDBileTJmrqIYgoE1ZoQAqZsDqdArj7-Gi7wJ2sjRrdLJ4cEFanzjsdJvohyoR-raNFmNsp8mYWkiafRrz3eVvkGTEs44/s1600/DSC_0484.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7FU0bT4m1fXe6aukGKXk4jGUSc0JzFOhBqq4spE0KSq79-RNDBileTJmrqIYgoE1ZoQAqZsDqdArj7-Gi7wJ2sjRrdLJ4cEFanzjsdJvohyoR-raNFmNsp8mYWkiafRrz3eVvkGTEs44/s320/DSC_0484.JPG" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me but a little bit more relaxed</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><i>Just because I'm leaving Contact a Family doesn't mean the fundraising is stopping. It's not. But there is a big final event I'd like to invite you to.</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Join us at Shoreditch House on 22nd February, 7pm – 10pm for our
CLOTHES SWAP PARTY.</span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Situated on the rooftop ‘Secret Garden’ you will have the
chance to walk away with a brand new wardrobe, have a fantastic evening and
raise vital funds for Contact a Family supporting disabled children and their
families.</span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">All you need to do is buy a ticket and bring 2-6 pieces of
clothing you would like to swap.</span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">We’ll value and sort your stuff & give you tokens to
spend on new (to you) clothing. Every guest will also get a goody bag full of
treats from our sponsors.</span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></i></div>
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<i><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></i><div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Tickets are £15 and you can get them here:</span></i></div>
<i><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></i><div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<i><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></i><div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><a href="https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/clothes-swap-party-tickets-21255423544" target="_blank">https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/clothes-swap-party-tickets-21255423544</a></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><i> </i> </span></div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10726402096024026570noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4535975625435869468.post-18549532174186105352016-02-09T00:43:00.002-08:002016-02-09T02:35:54.215-08:00The cheapest way to a brand new wardrobe<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So February. The grimmest month: Still carrying the extra
Christmas weight. Not motivated enough to stop eating left over chocolates
(though not the nice ones – they went late December). Still suffering mild
financial peril as a result of spending with gay abandon in December and then
facing the epic wait for January’s paycheck. It’s cold. And don’t even get me
started on Valentines day………Just YUCK.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But wait – what’s that you say? This blog post is in fact an
invite to a swish clothes swapping night at Shoreditch House? I’ll be able to
swap stuff I already own for new (to me) items of clothing? And listen to fashion
advice? On a Monday night? For just £15? And I can feel awesome about that cos
every penny of that £15 goes to charity? AND THERE’S GOODY BAGS!!!! Where can I
sign up ? (<a href="https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/clothes-swap-party-tickets-21255423544"><span style="color: blue;">here, you can sign up here</span></a>)</span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If you aren’t free on the 22<sup>nd</sup>, or you live
outside London, Contact a Family can help you run your own clothes swap with
friends – it’s a really fun just get in touch with <a href="mailto:bella.franks@hotmail.com">Bella</a> for more details.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So why do this in February? </span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Well, hands up who went shopping in the January sales? Hands up who
is now looking at the ‘bargains’ they purchased and wondering what on earth
they were thinking?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There is nothing like sale shopping to tempt us into buying
things that don’t really suit our personal style. And there is nothing like unworn
clothes on hangers in our wardrobes to fill us with guilt and a faint sense of
doom. And I’m guessing those clothes aren’t bad. There is nothing wrong with
them – they are just not you. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But maybe they are perfect for a friend, or someone in your
office, or down your local pub? Now I’m not suggesting you offload everything
you no longer wear onto your nearest and dearest – that’s a quick way to lose a
friend, but have you ever considered a clothes swap? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As a kid I did this all the time, my sisters and I would dig
out binbags full of stuff we no longer wore and we’d fight over the stuff we
wanted, I still leave stuff I’m getting rid of in a bag at my house for a month
so friends can get first dibs before things go to the charity shop. This is
great – but if I’m honest – it’s even better if I can pick up something I love
for free too. And organised clothes swaps are the way forward for this. Because
someone other than you judges the value of what you’ve brought along. So you
don’t end up hating the friend who pounces on your (worn once) MiH denim dress,
and argues it’s a fair swap for their ancient primark t-shirt covered in hot
rock burns. “One in one out yeah?”. Don’t risk your friendship like that – it’ll
leave a permanent mark.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But putting 10, or 20 people in a room and sorting their
contributions for quality<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> and being given</span> tokens to ‘spend’ on new items really works. It feels
less personal – in a good way. You’ve said goodbye to the stuff you’re happy to
get rid of, and have a pocket full of tokens to spend as you wish. You might
not always find something you are in love with – but the odds are on your side!</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Anyway I’d love to see as many of you as possible at the
Clothes Swap – it’ll be a fab night & Shoreditch House is an amazing venue.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Once again <span style="color: blue;"><a href="https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/clothes-swap-party-tickets-21255423544">you can get tickets here</a>.</span></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Regular readers – I know you’ve been waiting to hear about
India, and particularly how my clothes survived. Normally blogging activity
will resume Friday & I’ll start updating you then – warning – there will be
loads of photos of goats!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Happy New Year! </span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10726402096024026570noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4535975625435869468.post-83786266540548515162016-01-14T00:00:00.000-08:002016-01-14T00:00:08.633-08:00Travel Without Husband<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So when this blog is posted I'll be nearly 2 weeks into my month long jaunt around India. And I'm going without my husband.</span><br>
<br>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">People have had a massive range of reactions to this idea. One ill advised friend, blunt and (to be fair to her) drunk at the time we were talking about it gasped "Are you getting divorced?", other people have more subtly checked in that we're OK, some couples have shivered at the very idea of spending that much time apart, some think we're brave, lots of people have suggested that Matt is basically a saint for 'letting me' go, and my very closest friends have nodded sagely and understood that this is a really important thing.</span><br>
<br>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Matt and I are not getting divorced (or at least not to my knowledge- I'm not a fortune teller, so I make no guarantees), and I am not going away without him to get away from him at all. But when I look back over our relationship I realised that this trip, and my ability to go on it without guilt, says a lot about how nearly 15 years into our friendship, and 14 years of being a couple we are still so happy.</span><br>
<br>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If I could boil our relationship down to one salient fact I would say it is this: we are two people. Obvious right?</span><br>
<br>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But remembering we are two people and not one couple is very important to us. Matt and I have loads in common, but there are also things I enjoy that he is deeply uninterested in (ballet, talking about politics, going to parties), and the same is true the other way around (video games, red stripe, horror films). And that's only a problem if we think of ourselves as a single unit. </span><br>
<br>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So when I wanted to take some time out from work to reevaluate what I want to do with my life, it didn't make sense to bring Matt along. Matt doesn't massively want to go back to India at the moment, neither of us are comfortable leaving the dog for that long, and what I'm going away to think about doesn't involve him. Our life doesn't need reevaluating - we know we're happy together, we have shared aspirations about our future, our home and our family. But what I want to do with my career and how I want to use my brain - That's a decision that is personal to me. And inviting Matt to take part in that process with me is unhelpful for both of us - it's immaterial what Matt thinks I might enjoy doing during the day, it genuinely is all about me.</span><br>
<br>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And I am lucky in Matt in that he is self aware and self confident enough to know this. To know that I can and should make this type of decision without his input, and to not feel threatened by that.</span><br>
<br>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And he never has - we'd been married nearly 3 years when I moved to London ahead of him, and every year since we've been married I've taken at least one trip abroad with friends. And it's really good for us. Because when I'm away from him I have a chance to reflect on what he adds to my life and see that for the value that it really has. We aren't a couple that go for big romantic gestures, but we do express our love for one another daily and in ways that help the other one be OK with themselves. No one makes me laugh as much as Matt, or fully gets my wonky sense of humour. We have 15 years of shared jokes, shared memories, and shared friendships - and we know that we both have contributed different unique things to that shared pot. It's being different that makes our life together so much fun!</span><br>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And so I'm really excited about this trip without him. And the best thing about going away without the person you're in love with? You get to look forward to coming home to them.</span><br>
<br>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTo2mcq-2BDBECj4LqiYqdRLzUdZajPBFGNBynRB8Rh1qO3nI449CBXOJ3XCWyduQ5KEvnZjU_CNWDrGDgXHB2Q5MxRUD2kGitKztaEnzSzC8nxQsx6zf_DAo9NcJoFrzIFrasxQC_Tsc/s1600/DSC_0539.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTo2mcq-2BDBECj4LqiYqdRLzUdZajPBFGNBynRB8Rh1qO3nI449CBXOJ3XCWyduQ5KEvnZjU_CNWDrGDgXHB2Q5MxRUD2kGitKztaEnzSzC8nxQsx6zf_DAo9NcJoFrzIFrasxQC_Tsc/s320/DSC_0539.JPG" width="213"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I mean look at this dude. Who wouldn't miss him!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Just because I'm taking a month off doesn't mean everyone else at Contact A Family is - so if you haven't donated yet you can do so <a href="https://www.justgiving.com/Elizabeth-Archer1">here</a>.</i></span><br>
<br>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10726402096024026570noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4535975625435869468.post-73404370304247891472016-01-07T07:24:00.000-08:002016-01-08T19:41:35.700-08:00Travelling light in India<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">A whole month in India? What a treat!</span><br>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Travelling light? Sensible.</span><br>
<br>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Taking stuff you've been wearing all year so you don't break the rules of your charity challenge? Not quite as hard as I'd expected!</span><br>
<br>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I'm taking a 40ltr backpack, and am sticking to the traveling rule of 3. One on your body, one in the wash, one hanging to dry.</span><br>
<br>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9zaKqch7kD63gHX_d6NuC1b1WkIg9Mf6Kr8CTt6Sc9mwEdI4R7-0b76MYupJCqAzy5_yr8ONMFQuSQwyNSx-2HKjzJdPUwtG6V80Pm0R6j0Wyf71p4ckbBW8vaJrDP5vQ2sUXiqHFmNU/s1600/DSC_0028.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9zaKqch7kD63gHX_d6NuC1b1WkIg9Mf6Kr8CTt6Sc9mwEdI4R7-0b76MYupJCqAzy5_yr8ONMFQuSQwyNSx-2HKjzJdPUwtG6V80Pm0R6j0Wyf71p4ckbBW8vaJrDP5vQ2sUXiqHFmNU/s320/DSC_0028.JPG" width="320"></a></div>
<br>
<br>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">So from the capsule I'm taking: </span><br>
<br>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWt2IOPqfJAn3qbpwiD9CAhyphenhyphenuJCjUbaNyLPHiQiJf8EYQGVVRXKuppjUbfF29g4LeHX3lW0O9alByg0r3MyULIM7rB9czNPe8w2KSZeiI81d4CfgkOpxWMHPRTOWmOgazAsClJEWsXbnA/s1600/InstagramCapture_b3165f11-f721-4ce5-9cff-a7f5ebda3698%255B1%255D.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWt2IOPqfJAn3qbpwiD9CAhyphenhyphenuJCjUbaNyLPHiQiJf8EYQGVVRXKuppjUbfF29g4LeHX3lW0O9alByg0r3MyULIM7rB9czNPe8w2KSZeiI81d4CfgkOpxWMHPRTOWmOgazAsClJEWsXbnA/s320/InstagramCapture_b3165f11-f721-4ce5-9cff-a7f5ebda3698%255B1%255D.jpg" width="320"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The colourful summer frock</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
Plus my long grey dress & my denim dress<br>
<br>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNjZBiM1WTh_v9Zfxip07BqNQ9kUEX8RaOAo_Vjtnl0icwqYj_PDgf5d_y21Owfwq5U3ToCndIBXyuVEMO-wuOfGVmpP3DZH_pZUtSXKWeY-ItwmVicM5Uv3o7WuxpWsBcfvWRvTuenKw/s1600/InstagramCapture_1d20d1c6-49ab-4454-a361-746bfa495f03.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNjZBiM1WTh_v9Zfxip07BqNQ9kUEX8RaOAo_Vjtnl0icwqYj_PDgf5d_y21Owfwq5U3ToCndIBXyuVEMO-wuOfGVmpP3DZH_pZUtSXKWeY-ItwmVicM5Uv3o7WuxpWsBcfvWRvTuenKw/s320/InstagramCapture_1d20d1c6-49ab-4454-a361-746bfa495f03.jpg" width="320"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A raincoat (I'll be gutted if I need it)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbRxpYEdY1HMi9P7CuiKwtUph_upbl3eRUabg-pXwDLeHt5Ij8afmD2ZJbiisV2P6cEqNUVg1ZI0cMiwFHO_qRtScix7V_Z_MP0DwGq3jS_RICvMxlV6jNrwfEERR8nBkE7hAIB4ZNE-I/s1600/InstagramCapture_13d67a45-d52b-47ff-820c-706f0d68bd00.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbRxpYEdY1HMi9P7CuiKwtUph_upbl3eRUabg-pXwDLeHt5Ij8afmD2ZJbiisV2P6cEqNUVg1ZI0cMiwFHO_qRtScix7V_Z_MP0DwGq3jS_RICvMxlV6jNrwfEERR8nBkE7hAIB4ZNE-I/s320/InstagramCapture_13d67a45-d52b-47ff-820c-706f0d68bd00.jpg" width="320"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My denim shirt</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">plus my plaid shirt.</span><br>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I've also packed some things that are allowed under the rules under 'activity specific':</span><br>
<br>
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<br>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">A silk headscarfe (for when I need to cover my hair for cultural reasons)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">A pashmina (that'll just be used as a towel and a blanket)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">A thermal vest & and thermal long sleeve top (these will keep me warm on the plane & double up as pjs and yoga gear)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Yoga pants (which will double as pj bottoms)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">a Swimsuit</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">3 pairs of pants & 2 bras </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Trekking sandals</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and 4 pairs of socks (normally on this kind of trip I'd pack converse for when temperatures drop at night - since this isn't possible the ever classy socks and sandals it is!) </span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> And that is it for clothes!</span><br>
<br>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I'm not going to look like a fashion plate - but my bag is light & I have everything I need to be appropriate / comfortable at all times. So I'm pretty pleased with myself.</span><br>
<br>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">But it's not just clothes is it? So I'm also taking:</span><br>
<br>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5-EVtBu9fgEFQyhQwxAlO985RO__gDjSMh2WD5iANCSCNNwRO-BsSbJ0nhYvkPb_v3OiofsAnj1z6TpZRZrn8eIT9juWVqXTXObqBc2hna344kAyKWlFLsjjRKi17HqlPrlM5jBWvty8/s1600/DSC_0031.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5-EVtBu9fgEFQyhQwxAlO985RO__gDjSMh2WD5iANCSCNNwRO-BsSbJ0nhYvkPb_v3OiofsAnj1z6TpZRZrn8eIT9juWVqXTXObqBc2hna344kAyKWlFLsjjRKi17HqlPrlM5jBWvty8/s320/DSC_0031.JPG" width="320"></a></div>
<br>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">My camera (by far the heaviest thing in my case - but so important)</span></li><li><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">A sleeping bag and liner</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">a memory card adaptor</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">my tablet (so I can stay in touch with you guys)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">my phone (so I can stay in touch with matt)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">my kindle</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">a torch</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">a comb</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">hand sanitiser </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">a plug adaptor & recharger cables </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">painkillers & immodium </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">a soap dish with solid cleanser & shampoo in</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">a childrens toothbrush (spiderman - couldn't resist)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">toothpaste, suntan lotion, bug spray, afterbite & moisturiser</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">tampons, cotton buds & a muslin facecloth</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">razors, nail clippers and a pair of tweezers </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">4 clothes pegs</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">2 cotton tote bags</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">a couple of notepads and biros</span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> Which now I've written it down sounds like loads!</span><br>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Wish me luck.</span><br>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"></span><br>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span id="react-root"></span></span><br>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> </span><br>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> </span><span id="react-root"></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10726402096024026570noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4535975625435869468.post-69990499015985517872015-12-31T00:00:00.000-08:002015-12-31T01:28:14.284-08:00New year - new you? <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">New years eve. That time where we all try and kid ourselves that next year we're going to fundamentally change our personalities and take up hobbies that we definitely don't have time for.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Depressing isn't it? That choice you have between being ambitious and being a realist at new year?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Why can't new years resolutions be kinder? Why aren't we kinder to ourselves when making them?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I've always found it really upsetting that at time that should be about hope and opportunity we as a society choose to focus on the things we don't like about ourselves rather than the things we do.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Honestly - how many of you have 'lose weight' as a goal this year? Or go to the gym more? How many of you have the word 'less' in front of something you enjoy and 'more' in front of something you don't.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Doesn't this strike you as a bit self hating?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Don't get me wrong I'm not anti- self improvement. Quite the opposite. This whole challenge has been about learning about myself more, and being mindful about my actions. But I haven't approached it from the point of view that there is something fundamentally wrong with me that needs fixing, just that actually perhaps I could be happier and that would be a good thing.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So I'm interested in unpicking our new years resolutions, to ensure they are about us feeling happier next year rather than being motivated by guilt.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So if you want to lose weight - why? Losing weight in itself feels like a bit of a superficial goal -doesn't it? I'm sure there is more to it than that. Is it that you want to love your body again, feel healthy or be fit enough to take that hiking trip you've always fancied. Do you need to lose weight to get insurance to do that parachute jump, or to dance at your son or daughters wedding? Brilliant - you can work on that, and maybe losing weight be a part of acheiving that goal. But it isn't an end in itself and treating it like it is will just reinforce all your negative feelings about yourself <i><u>and make it harder to keep your resolution!</u></i> Don't do this to yourself. Don't start your your year setting yourself up to fail.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Set yourself up to succeed. If you don't like the gym then please don't make your resolution to go more. Find some exercise you like: walking, trampolining, dancing, sex. There are loads of ways to work up a sweat - there is bound to be one you enjoy - find it.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">One of my friends a couple of years ago made her resolution to go to the theatre every month. She said she felt guilty because she lived in London and never took advantage of it. When I asked her why she didn't do that now she said, that honestly when it came down to it she'd rather spend her money doing something where she could have a laugh with her friends. I told her she should get a new resolution - like maybe to stopping feeling guilty about London's cultural highlights not making her as happy as hanging out with people she loves. Or maybe that her resolution should be to spend more time with her friends, if that's what she really wanted.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Lots of you having been reading this blog regularly for 7 months now, and so as a little (late) Christmas present to you here's a list of new years resolutions that could make you happier next year...</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This year you could decide to:</span><br />
<ol>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Stop worrying about why people like you and just accept that they do.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Make decisions based on joy rather than guilt</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Choose to do things that you enjoy, Rather than things that make good stories</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Allocate a bit of time every day that is just for you, to do as you like with</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Accept there isn't time for you to do everything you'd like to. And that that is true for everyone else you know too.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Let people you love and admire know what it is you love about them.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Stop comparing yourself to other people.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Spend more time with people who make you laugh out loud (or in my case snort).</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Spend less time with ( and thinking about) people that make you unhappy. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Examine your habits. And stop the ones that don't add to your happiness (I'm never ironing a sheet again)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Be kinder to yourself. That advice you give people you love about taking it easy, not judging themselves so harshly, choosing to see the good. That applies to you too - take it.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Accept you won't always be your best self. And when you're not recognise it, make the apologies you need to and then brush yourself of and move on. Perfection is too much to ask of anyone especially yourself. </span></li>
</ol>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm going to try to do all these things next year, and sometimes I'll manage it and sometimes I won't. But at least I'm sure that I won't have started the year making promises to myself that I can't keep.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I hope 2016 is wonderful for you all. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And if you wanted a manageable resolution, how does a 1 month challenge in February sound? Contact a Family are doing a mini challenge based on my year long one called 15 for February. It's going to be a lot of fun and you can find out about it <a href="http://www.cafamily.org.uk/get-involved/fundraising/2016/february/15-for-february/">here</a>. (there is a very silly vid of me and my mate Bella there too) </span><br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10726402096024026570noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4535975625435869468.post-89652474354255359802015-12-29T01:50:00.000-08:002015-12-29T01:50:02.980-08:00Christmas without clothes<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Ok that's a misleading post title.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I didn't sprend Christmas naked. My parents were round - it would have been weird. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">But I didn't get anything new either. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">As you know <a href="http://clothesoffmybackchallenge.blogspot.co.uk/p/about-challenge.html">the year long challenge</a> I'm taking limits me to 35 items of clothing all year. I bought items number 30 & 31 at the end of November ( a cashmere polo neck & a flannel shirt), and didn't get anything at all in December.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">And it felt a little weird - because December is normally a big spending month for me. I don't know if I'm alone in this - but December for me is all about cosy. This means every year I follow a shopping pattern as predictable as those of migrating birds - normally I buy:</span><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">some kind of loungewear made of super fluffy fleece</span> </li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"></span><ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> a knitted dress</span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">some kind of knitwear that is glittery </span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I love these things passionately for a couple of weeks. and then I never wear them again. They get charity shopped come March and then I re buy them the next December. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">It wasteful I know - but honestly I'd never conciously noticed that I did it until this year when I couldn't.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">One of the things the capsule challenge has really helped me with is impulse control. I'm just less inclined to buy things on a whim when I know that whim will need to be in constant use for the next 5 months. So when I've found myself thinking I want something, I've asked myself what places and what months it'd work in and more often than not I realise it's a dumb choice. I really , really hope this attitude lasts me beyond the challenge because it'll save me a lot of money & the environment a lot of landfill if it does.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">So has my Christmas been any less cosy because I didn't get any new clothes?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">You know it really hasn't. Pretty much every day since finishing work I've worn one of my 2 pairs of jeans with one of my 3 shirts. I've felt relaxed and comfy & when I've wanted to snuggle down in something soft I've put on my cashmere jumper and snuggled down in that. And it is much MUCH softer than any fleecy or glittery winter top.</span><br />
<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Cosy washing up gear</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Which is actually a bit of an unexpected advantage to the capsule. You simply can't afford to save anything for best - so the precious lovely things I own are actually getting worn!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">My Christmas was gorgeous folks - and I hope yours was too. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">And if you are feeling overflowing with Christmas generousity still - then remember what this challenge is actually about - fighting the disadvantage that families of Disabled children face and <a href="https://www.justgiving.com/Elizabeth-Archer1">give the gift of a donation here.</a></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Take care </span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10726402096024026570noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4535975625435869468.post-58990661599771487322015-12-11T09:24:00.000-08:002015-12-11T11:32:03.380-08:00It is possible to overthink a capsule wardrobe<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">So it’s been nearly 3 weeks since my last post. It turns out
that getting ready to take a 6 week holiday from work is in fact a lot of work.
I’ve been totally consumed by getting everything that’s in my head down on
paper and as a result haven’t been able face going near a computer when I get
home.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">But I’m back now and in the time since we last spoke I’ve
been super busy, and have added 3 new items to the capsule. This takes me up to
a (kind of scarey) 31. I have just over 5 months left and less than 5 items to
add, if it didn't feel real before <a href="http://clothesoffmybackchallenge.blogspot.co.uk/2015/05/the-birth-of-clothes-off-my-back.html">the challenge </a>certainly feels it now.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">So as usual each new item comes with a bit of a story so:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Sometimes I feel like doing this year long capsule wardrobe
challenge has been a bit like joining a cult. My mind has become so filled with
the capsule rules that I lose track of all logical thought. This was definitely
the case when it came to thinking about winter. One of the big things that
people who write about capsule wardrobes tell you is to really think about how
many different ways you can use any item in your wardrobe. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">And I really took that on board. My trusty mac has been with
me everywhere this year, and I fully intended to use it as my winter coat as
well – just with loads more layers underneath it than I use in summer. I
figured that with a couple of jumpers underneath, a hat, scarfe and gloves it would be perfect.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Then on the coldest day yet this year I found myself
crouched over shivering whilst waiting for a train and began to think again. I’d
left myself space for gloves and a hat in the capsule – but it was becoming
increasingly clear that toasty wrists would mean nothing if I could feel the
cold in my internal organs.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I started to talk to my friends about ‘glove alternatives’.
I was still really wedded to the mac as my outer layer for winter, so I started
thinking about those winter tops that have super long sleeves with thumb holes
in them as an option that doubled up as gloves. I even went as far as trying a
couple on. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I’d put them on and frown at myself in the mirror at how not to
my taste they were. And then try my mac on over the top to see how that would look.
This had 2 main outcomes:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 20.25pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1)<span style="font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-language-override: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-synthesis: weight style; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></span>me getting assigned my very own not at all
subtle security guard watching to check I wasn’t trying to steal anything and,</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 20.25pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<br></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 20.25pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2)<span style="font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-language-override: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-synthesis: weight style; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></span>a tiny bit of my soul dying as I tried to force myself
to buy something I hated in the full knowledge that I’d end up wearing it every
day all winter.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 20.25pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<br></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">So I went home and cried. And my lovely husband (who is fast
growing tired of this whole challenge) listened to me frowned for a bit and
said: “ let me get this straight, you think you need to buy this ugly top that
you have because it’ll keep your body and hands warm in winter and it’s only
one item right?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Yes” I snivel whilst blowing my nose on my sleeve and
generally acting like the world is about to end.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“And you think this is the only option, because you need to
be warm, and it’ll fit under your mac so you’ll be dry too?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Yes” I sniff feeling conflicted about whether to be
distressed about the horror of what I’m going to have to wear all winter, or
smug about how clever my solution is.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“But wouldn’t a proper winter coat do all those things?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Which is how I ended up buying a parka.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">It is waterproof, faux down filled, it has multiple massive
pockets, a button off padded hood and extra bonus - I don’t hate it.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">So here’s my coat – I’ve worn it every day since I bought it
three weeks ago – and it’ll probably get worn every day (except when I’m out of
the country) until April. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgk0i3UIErAcQkuxdEfd5QCX2OQMO2yp1C2cUTvV3U97BsXd14pAHOaVGqVAgHarLcFUTupihwerakp7bPUMBO6qaBF2X6cZHoC72mTL8CZKr5nK0x7DxigB8jdcmmOwOktz4F_9Jl-8X8/s1600/IMG_20151211_171739%255B1%255D.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgk0i3UIErAcQkuxdEfd5QCX2OQMO2yp1C2cUTvV3U97BsXd14pAHOaVGqVAgHarLcFUTupihwerakp7bPUMBO6qaBF2X6cZHoC72mTL8CZKr5nK0x7DxigB8jdcmmOwOktz4F_9Jl-8X8/s320/IMG_20151211_171739%255B1%255D.jpg" width="320"></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">While you’re thinking about how I stay warm. Think about how
difficult it is for families to ensure they keep themselves and their families
warm on a limited budget. I started this challenge because I was disgusted to
realise how many families of disabled children go without heating or clothing
in order to meet the extra costs of raising a Disabled child. Contact A Family
are working tirelessly to change this. If you want to make a donation you can
do so <a href="https://www.justgiving.com/Elizabeth-Archer1">here.</a></span></i> </span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10726402096024026570noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4535975625435869468.post-51281078884370954632015-11-20T03:09:00.000-08:002015-11-23T01:19:10.994-08:00Why I'm doing the challenge<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Hello friends,</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">On Monday I'll be halfway through <a href="http://clothesoffmybackchallenge.blogspot.co.uk/p/about-challenge.html">the challenge</a>, so I thought I'd share a little about my motivation. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Regular
readers will know I started this year long challenge because of a
conversation I had at work. You'll also know I work for Contact a
Family, a charity that supports families of disabled children. They do
lots of things, from providing advice and information, to campaigning,
to organising family trips and supporting more than 150 parent carer
forums across the country to influence local policy making. They are
pretty awesome and I'm proud to work there.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">What I don't think I've told you is why I care so much about this issue.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As
a small child I lived disability as a part time sibling. I've spoken
before on this blog about my mum being a bit of an inspiration, and
certainly one of the things that has shaped my life and my attitude to
disability came from her.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I don't know how many of you know about family link caring? Basically it works like this. Children with complex needs, often need more care than other children. What this means in practical terms is that
their parents, and other family members take more time undertaking tasks
to keep them safe and healthly. Politically that's why we use the term
parent carer to talk about parents of disabled children. Because over
and above the stuff you need to do to parent every child, there are
addittional caring responsibilities, often involving a huge level of skill. And this means that parent carers
can get tired, and that children with complex needs get less time away
from their parents than other children their age. If you think back to
your own childhood you'll realise that some of your funniest and most
meaningful memories came from times when you tested boundaries, made
mistakes or just tried something that felt alien to you. And I'm
prepared to bet that a good proportion of those memories were made when
you were at friends or other family members houses <i>and your parents weren't there.</i>
As children our parents are structure - and we need time away from them
to understand ourselves as individuals. So family link carers basically
offer the opportunity for children with complex needs to have that
experience of being away from home, by opening up another skilled carers
home for regular days out or overnight stays. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In
our case it gave C & K (the two girls my family were linked with),
the chance to hang out with other people and be more independant. It
gave their parents a break from caring. And it gave me a unique
understanding of the barriers that disabled children and their families
face accessing, well everything really. Two weekends a month if we
wanted to go swimming, or to the shops or the park, we could be out of
the door in 15 minutes without thinking, and the other 2 we couldn't.
We'd have to consider what play equiptment was accessible to C on her
wheelchair (clue: none), wether there was even adequate paving so her
chair didn't get stuck in the mud on the way to the park, if the
swimming pool had a hoist, we'd have to make a plan for where to park in
our small town so if we 'popped to the shops' we actually could get
into most of them.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And if anything it was more difficult with K who didn't have mobility needs, but was a wonderful (if a bit sweary) girl with Down's
syndrome. Where could we take her where she wouldn't be asked to be
quiet, or expected to stay still for longer than she could manage. Where
could we rely apon other children to be kind and accept her exuberant
offers of friendship, accompanied as they were with too tight hugs?
Where mothers and fathers didn't either quietly move their children
away, or talk about her as though she was a lesson in her hearing? K did
have a learning disability. It didn't mean she wasn't smart, or that
she wasn't sensitive to peoples emotions - she was both of those things,
and being constantly made aware she was different by people around her
(even the kind ones) hurt her feelings, and ironically brought out in
her the kind of behaviour that people feared.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It was crappy. And yes it was the 1980's, and some things have changed. But not enough. When
I talk to young people, the parents and to siblings - the stories they
tell feel achingly familiar and all the more devistating for being lived
all year, rather than just a couple of weekends a month.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">For
me as a child, the natural thing would have been to resent these more
highly planned, less free weekends but two things prevented that from
happening. Firstly I genuinely loved C & K. C was kind and gentle
and really happy to let me dictate the pace of play, and K was was wild
and brave and taught me swear (one of my greatest talents to this day).
And secondly my mum redirected my frustration and anger where it
belonged, not at C & K, or at her, but at the society that forgot
that disabled children existed when it planned parks and leisure spaces,
that didn't teach children and adults to be welcoming to and accepting
of difference. That shrugged it's shoulders and said "it's too
difficult" when asked to releive some of the caring responsibilities
from parent carers so they can enjoy some time just being parents, or to
consider the economic impact of raising a child who needs more care.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And
I still have that anger. I'm still furious that families of disabled
children are allowed to live in poverty because not enough is done to
alleviate the addittional costs of raising a disabled child. I'm
disgusted when I see public attitudes to disability, and read more about
the idea of disabled people as scroungers than I do about the
injustices they face, because we as a society choose not to pay
attention.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It
worries me that everyone I know knows someone with a disabled child,
yet hardly anyone can identify disabled adults amongst their friendship
group. Yes some disablities are attached to life limiting conditions (C
is longer with us), but most aren't. So why aren't we all able to
identify people with learning disabilities, people who are deaf, or
blind, who have mobility needs amongst our friendship groups? Is it
because those children that we know now don't get to play alongside
other children, or sit by them in class, so as they grow disabled
children have less and less contact with their non- disabled peers? Is
it because the lack of adjustments made for these families isolates
them, and what we don't see we don't care about, and so our children
don't make those friendships and when they become adults they aren't
motivated to stand with disabled people as say 'this is not ok'?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I
think that's part of it. And that's why Contact a Family are working so
hard to support families of disabled children to be less isolated, and
to form communities of support. Because anger isn't enough. We need to
take action to change this and the donations readers of this blog are
making allow us to do that. To keep lobbying. To keep shouting about
this. To keep giving families the information they need about their
rights.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Together
we've raised more than £2,300 so far, please please keep the donations
coming. Because 6 more months of wearing the same clothes is easy (it's
not. I'm sooooo bored), but a lifetime of isolation isn't. And it's
preventable. <a href="https://www.justgiving.com/Elizabeth-Archer1">Here's the link to donate</a> </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>This is a personal blog and <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">contains</span> my personal views<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, not necessarily those of any organisation I represent<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> in an<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">y</span> capacity.</span></span></i></span> </span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10726402096024026570noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4535975625435869468.post-45692446214703955292015-11-06T01:43:00.000-08:002015-11-06T03:14:11.551-08:00The importance of warmth<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So I mentioned a couple of days back that I’ve been feeling
<a href="http://clothesoffmybackchallenge.blogspot.co.uk/2015/11/colour-capsule-wardrobe.html">starved of colour </a>for the last couple of months. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It seemed to be like the easiest way to inject colour into
my life all winter was to buy a colourful scarf. That’s easy to do right?
Wrong. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I agonised over what to buy.
Everyone knows that more choice leaves us less happy. In my case I have
loads of choice, until I make the choice & then there is no backing out.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> All
the choice and nothing to show for it or no choice forever (ok for 7 months –
but it feels like a long time) =Torture. <a href="http://clothesoffmybackchallenge.blogspot.co.uk/2015/05/the-birth-of-clothes-off-my-back.html">The challenge</a> has delivered me loads
of great things over the last 5 ½ months, but it’s also reintroduced me to my
old friend indecision. And even though indecision and I have been estranged –
she’s wormed her way back in there pretty successfully and is now my constant
shopping companion.</span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Honestly. I’ve needed a scarf for weeks. I must have looked
at EVERY SCARF ON THE INTERNET. I became a total scarf bore. I knew exactly
what I wanted – I had a really clear picture in my head but I couldn’t find the
real thing anywhere.</span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And what I would normally have done if I wasn’t doing this
challenge was picked something ‘near enough’ to see me through until Plato’s
higher scarf presented itself. But since I have to stick with whatever choice I
make this year, I put it off. I went out day after day and night after night in
my thin mac with my neck exposed until surprise surprise I made myself
ill.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I was a full on snot factory last week. It was disgusting. I
had a sore throat, earache, blocked nose and all the associated headaches. My
husband got no sleep at all as a result of my rambunctious snoring. And I don’t
deserve any sympathy at all because I did it myself with vanity.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">You know how Kate Moss once said ‘Nothing tastes as good as
skinny feels?’ (at least the internet says she did. Kate if you didn’t I’m
super sorry for mis- quoting you, and if you did – stick around – cos I think
you’re eating the wrong food). I have a problem with that phrase – it’s
patently untrue. I mean maybe if you eat in a really self punishing way
potentially, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">potentially </i>unsweetened
granola with skimmed milk doesn’t taste as good as skinny feels, or a plain
bowl of quinoa with no veggies. But mashed potatoes? Apple crumble and custard?
Cheesy beans and waffles? They all taste at least as good as skinny feels as
the hips and bums of our nation’s women will testify.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I know what I’m talking about on this. I got dysentery in
Nepal 9 years back and got super skinny. And you know what? It felt alright – I
knew I looked good in my bikini. But it didn’t feel as good as homemade peanut
butter and chocolate sauce pancakes taste – which explains why I’d put it all
back on within two years.</span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Anyway I digress. What I wanted to say is that I’ve come up
with a new and much healthier saying, from what I’ve learnt from letting myself
get sick out of vanity, and here it is:</span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">“Nothing looks as good as warm feels”. And it’s totally
true. On Sunday I realised that I couldn’t research scarfs forever. So I gave
myself 15 minutes at Spitalfield’s market to find and buy one. And it’s not my
dream scarf- but actually it’s pretty close and today all day I’ve been warm.
Which is priceless.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjM-TdcrePaGtym1bpFRXA8oJNZSkKIIfm-xnr-YZuRBfjuqFUqSw_rMZMkGYlR3AI2UfSWRVgolsyavxRjy8pWQDIUKTynYDKCpRnXETKrU6TW3nAepdvPUGZ1-n_zIpgEN-xKNvOV9Qg/s1600/IMG_20151106_093453.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjM-TdcrePaGtym1bpFRXA8oJNZSkKIIfm-xnr-YZuRBfjuqFUqSw_rMZMkGYlR3AI2UfSWRVgolsyavxRjy8pWQDIUKTynYDKCpRnXETKrU6TW3nAepdvPUGZ1-n_zIpgEN-xKNvOV9Qg/s320/IMG_20151106_093453.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Come on gang I made
myself sick for the challenge that’s got to be worth some <a href="https://www.justgiving.com/Elizabeth-Archer1/">sponsorship</a>? </i></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10726402096024026570noreply@blogger.com0