Secret to happy - a good waterproof

And the winner of least sexy blog title ever goes to........

But I'm actually serious. There's two parts to this great joy:

Firstly it's about not getting soaked to the skin, or being limited to what you do due to the weather.

The second is about liking yourself enough to not worry about how you you look in a cagoule.

I totally - unironically love this cagoule

I know that these days there are some really nice cagoules out there. In fact I own a lovely grey number by Rain that I love. But I think we can all agree that when I say nice - I mean comparatively. There are some really really ugly cagoules out there - and there are some inoffensive ones. There has not to my knowledge yet been a drop to your knees beautiful cagoule that has caused riots in topshop or appeared on the cover of Vogue.

Cagoules are very much function over form. And for me that is part of their joy. Wearing a cagoule shows a level of self care that I think is kind of beautiful. A suspension of vanity, of worrying what others think about your physical appearance in order to keep yourself dry. It's a good thing.

And not a thing I've always done. I can remember countless occasions when I've chosen to leave the house in a denim or leather jacket when it is absolutely pouring - because while I might arrive a shivvering drowned rat of a girl, at least my sense of style will be intact. At least no-one would see me in *gasp* a pac -a - mac.

These days I just want to give that shivvering, drenched, very prone to colds girl (I wonder why?) a massive hug. I want to hand her a pac-a-mac and tell her to see it as a kind of sorting hat. Cos the people who wouldn't rather you were warm than stylish are wankers worth neither your time or the small fortune you are spending on aloe vera kleenex. 

And actually the best boys - they fancy girls in cagoules. Because the really nice ones - they find a sense of adventure sexy - certainly sexier than the ability to do a perfect eyeliner flick (though there is a certain allure to sporting both at once). And even if they didn't - you miss out on so much of life if you can't head out in the rain.

Is there anything more beautifully passionate than a heavy rain drumming into the sea? Or more fun than getting the park to just you, your dog and a giant stick? More capable than walking into the festival knowing it doesn't matter if it shits it down you'll see who you want to see, cos you have your waterproof, and your wellies and you are ready to rock and roll.

That's why I love my cagoule - cos it loves me back & I can take it anywhere and it'll look after me. The ultimate Jane Bond accessory.

This day would have been shit without my old faithful. With it - all kinds of awesomeness.

Do you have a story about your waterproof being a hero? I'd love to hear it!

Secret to happy - hugs

Now I'm not the most tactile of people. I can know you pretty well and like you a lot and still have less than no interest in hugging you.

I hold my right to decide who I have physical contact with and when very sacred. I am that person who won't hug a child if they are told to hug me - but only if they want to - because you know what? Hugs are only good if there is mutual consent.

When I want a hug and when I'll allow it is pretty unpredictable. The lady we rented an apartment from for 1 night in Croatia who didn't speak a word of English, massive hug to say goodbye. Some people I've been friends with for years - never hugged them, would literally rear way and offer a hand to shake if they tried!

But I do know the value of a good hug. A really good hug is better than any medicine created. A hug that doesn't seek to give, or take, to change or influence - but is quite simply two people squeezing to show mutual affection and comfort is a really wonderful thing.

Sisterly hug with Noo

Sometimes hugs don't obviously contribute to your immediate happiness. In fact when things are rubbish, I often find the immediate affect of a good hug is to make me cry. To make me quite literally collapse into someone else's arms. But if you've ever been really sad you 'll know that there is the benefit to a good hug. That someone will quite literally hold you up when you're collapsing. That they may not be able to change your situation or change a single bloody thing for you - but they will while you need it keep you from falling to the floor.

And then for me, when things are better, I remember those hugs and they make me feel braver, more confident, and safer because I know that people are essentially good and that I am not alone.

Of course hugs aren't only good when you are sad. I love a big squeeze from a good friend I haven't seen in a while, and I can physically feel myself calm and de-stress when Matt & I have a hug when I get home from work. There are some friends that I'm always hugging just out of the pure joy that they exist.

I think the thing with hugs for me is that that are essentially giving - you don't hold people for your own sense of self in the way you can with some physical comforts. No-one has ever had a revenge hug, a sports hug or indeed a rebound hug. Because it doesn't have a status, there is no permanence - it's an in the moment expression of support or joy.

Face licking isn't an entirely necessary part of hugging....

And that's why at the right time, from the right person a hug is one of my secrets to happy.